"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town�Adams Realty and Fitch Realty�Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."
The above paragraph is in respect of the lordliness of the Adams Real Estate Firm. To illustrate that superiority the paragraph compare Adams with the another real estate firm Fitch Reality of that town and gives the three examples in that respect. The first example is in respect of the number of employees who were working there. The second example is that the Adams revenue last year was twice as high as of Fitch and average of home sells by both the firms. And the third example is a writers personal experience in respect of the selling the home by Adams. From the above paragraph it is clearly show that the Adam Realty is superior than Fitch reality in selling the homes in good price and within short period of time. But there are some points are a there that the writer is fail to give conclusiveness in respect of the Adams Reality.
To begin with that points, the first example which was given by a writer is regarding the the number of employees that in Adams and number of employees in Fitch. There are 40 real estate agents working in Adams and 25 in Fitch.With this example it is not clearly understands that the quality of work is depend upon the number of workers. The quality of work is not depend upon the quantity of persons working there, and also not depend whether the agents working full time or part time.
In addition to illustration to the superiority of the Adams Reality the writer compares that with the last years Adams revenue was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $ 168,000 compared to Fitch $144,000. Although it it true that the Adams annual revenue was much higher than the Fitch. But from the annual record it is not prove that the Adam Reality is superior to sell the homes.
Last but not the least the writer gives the personal experience about selling his own house. The writer stated that he listed his home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell and last year he sold another home which was listed with Adams it took just one month. But the example about first house was happened in ten year ago. The selling of house is always depend upon the demand . And demand and supply always go together. Therefore from this example it is not prove that the Adams are superiority.
However, from the above example it is not completely prove that the Adams Reality is superior in their service but from the above paragraph and personal experience one can easily go with the Adams Reality for selling their home.
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- "Of the two leading real estate firms in our town�Adams Realty and Fitch Realty�Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as hi 50
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Sentence: To illustrate that superiority the paragraph compare Adams with the another real estate firm Fitch Reality of that town and gives the three examples in that respect.
Suggestion: To illustrate that superiority, the paragraph compares Adams with another real estate firm Fitch Reality of that town and gives three examples in that respect.
Sentence: But there are some points are a there that the writer is fail to give conclusiveness in respect of the Adams Reality.
Description: The fragment a there that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace there with adjective
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and fail
Sentence: To begin with that points, the first example which was given by a writer is regarding the the number of employees that in Adams and number of employees in Fitch.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Sentence: There are 40 real estate agents working in Adams and 25 in Fitch.With this example it is not clearly understands that the quality of work is depend upon the number of workers.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and depend
Sentence: Although it it true that the Adams annual revenue was much higher than the Fitch.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to it and it
Sentence: The above paragraph is in respect of the lordliness of the Adams Real Estate Firm.
Error: lordliness Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2 (still have some grammatical issues)
No. of Different Words: 162 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2012 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.471 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.134 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.688 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5