"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
Author's claim that Adams Reality is a superior real estate seller compared to Fitch Reality, is based on three unwarranted assumptions.
Author asserts that Fitch Reality has lower number of agents as compared with Adams Reality. While making this premise, author assumes that having higher number of agents implies that Adams Reality is more efficient than Fitch Reality. However, this assumption would not hold true if it is proved that 25 agents of Fitch Reality provide a better service than 40 agents of Adams Reality. It is entirely possible that agents of Fitch Reality are more smart a...
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Sentence: Nevertheless, we can't ignore market changes that may taken place in ten years.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to may and taken
It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/gmatgre
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 438 350
No. of Characters: 2136 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.575 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.877 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.257 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.848 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.408 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.61 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.247 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5