38 It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The self-definition comes primarily through the interaction with other people and not through self-observation, introspection and independent thinking. This claim overemphasize the roles of social activities on an individual's development and negates subjective initiative. In my opinion, the identification with social groups reflects our current situations to some extent and embodies present mental state in some ways, but a person’s existing social circle neither could define a person thoroughly nor should impede his or her future anticipation.
First, I do agree that the identification with social groups contributes to self-definition, but in an insignificant way. This identification serves like a mirror which can say our current state and project a big image of the group to which we belong. Although, a Chinese Emperor Taizong used to say that, using friends as a mirror, people discern their own qualities and defaults. In fact, this is because that people from the same social groups usually have certain same characteristics. For examples, the Wall Street's elites in suite and ties, wearing Rolex and handmade Italian shoes differ clearly from geeks of Silicon Valley, the IT workers who are in T-shirts, shorts and Adidas slippers. Furthermore, these common points draw a big picture of this group. For examples, the appealing appearance of financial consultants mirrors their dependence on external images in judging people, emphasizes their attention to the physical world. In contrast, the wearing style of minimalism leading by Mark Zuckerberg reflects the coders’ indifference to external images and expresses their attention to the virtual world. However, the common points of a same social groups are too vague to define a group member’s personality precisely, sensitively and insightfully.
Second, self-founding is a complicated journey full of surprise. In addition to the interaction with social groups, there are multiple elements could help us to self-define. To form a comprehensive, sensitive and proper self-definition, we should not limit ourselves only to the social interaction but should meet ourselves with the reality constantly and intentionally. For example, reading book is a good way. Inspired by the words of Oscar Wilde that "We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at star", I want to become a person of idealism and refuse to conform to the current social trending of realism and consumerism. Furthermore, in the opera of Notre Dame de Paris, the beautiful voice of Quasimodo developed in me the spirit of self-sacrifice to love. There is no doubt that everyone must have been touched by a piece of poem, a lyric from a song or a plot from a novel. Once we get touched, we found a piece of jigsaw of our personality, thus we could self-define better.
Third, the word "primarily" in the claim accentuates the role of outer world in self-definition and not the personal inner world. However, ego-founding and self-defining is a personal approach and relates fundamentally to the people’s own experiences and motivation. The preference of books, paintings, poems and novels, which imply a person’s characteristics, are mostly to personal choices. Even if the outer social groups, such as universities or companies, sometimes may ask students or employees to read a list of books, but they could not force them have the same points of views. Another example is from a BBC documentary. Twin brothers, billionaire Evan and beggar George, have totally different life path, although they have the same growth environments and social circles of younger ages. These two examples illustrate that the social groups, the outer world do not decide who you are, but your inner world, your interests, your determination do.
To resume, the identification with social groups could help us to form an abstract view about who we are. However, to form a precise and sensitive self-definition is a circuitous process, requesting a constant confrontation with realities, a non-stop retrospection and a gradual formation of inner world.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 164, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'overemphasizes'.
Suggestion: overemphasizes
...on and independent thinking. This claim overemphasize the roles of social activities on an in...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 215, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
...ze the roles of social activities on an individuals development and negates subjective init...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 98, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an insignificant way" with adverb for "insignificant"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ups contributes to self-definition, but in an insignificant way. This identification serves like a mirr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 634, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'IT'?
Suggestion: the; IT
...r clearly from geeks of Silicon Valley, the IT workers who are in T-shirts, shorts and...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1168, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'group'?
Suggestion: group
...ver, the common points of a same social groups are too vague to define a group member&...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, look, may, second, so, third, thus, for example, in addition, in contrast, in fact, no doubt, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 35.0 14.8657303371 235% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 33.0505617978 136% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 58.6224719101 138% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 12.9106741573 217% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3487.0 2235.4752809 156% => OK
No of words: 643.0 442.535393258 145% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42301710731 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.03561760524 4.55969084622 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.34303150727 2.79657885939 120% => OK
Unique words: 344.0 215.323595506 160% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53499222395 0.4932671777 108% => OK
syllable_count: 1077.3 704.065955056 153% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 15.0 4.99550561798 300% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.738013347 60.3974514979 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.24137931 118.986275619 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1724137931 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.31034482759 5.21951772744 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207750743802 0.243740707755 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0502488209029 0.0831039109588 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0502522827704 0.0758088955206 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116983675681 0.150359130593 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0265262437142 0.0667264976115 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.1392134831 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.8420337079 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.1743820225 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.27 8.38706741573 111% => OK
difficult_words: 185.0 100.480337079 184% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.