"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Young people are the foundations of the future of any nation, and the present generation bears the responsibility of teaching these fresh minds the best ideals for the betterment of the society. The prompt states that, for young people to lead in the various aspects of society, they should be exposed to a cooperative mindset, rather than a competitve one. I mostly agree with the prompt for two reasons that I elaborate below.
If someone is cooperative as a leader, they will have a broader sense of the responsibilities imposed upon them, and hence will have a greater tendency to look out for the betterment of the society. If a government has the mindset of collaborating with, let's say, other nations of the world, they can tackle many pressing issues of the current world. For example, in order to overcome the threat that the world faces due to global warming, a consolidated effort from the world's major nations is required. If young people who make it to the government are not taught to be cooperative, but rather to be competitive, they will have the mindset to look out only for their own countries and protect their own people from such global threats. While loyalty to your own people is a very necessary attribute to have, a non-cooperative attitude in such a global crisis will have unprecedented ramifications. Consequentially, these people will also not succeed in their goal of saving their own people.
An excessive sense of competition bestwoed upon the young generation can also entrench an overly selfish behavior inside them. This can transcend into the levels where they only look out for themselves, and not even the team that they are a part of. Take for example, a high-official at a company who will not think twice before jeopardizing the very organization that he works for, only for his own good. In such a case, the competitive mindset instilled inside them makes them a bad leader, instead of a good one.
However, I will concede that a healthy level of competition in the minds of the future leaders can be a good thing. A controlled level of competition in the leaders of the government or industry can provide them with an extra thrust to do better. But the best in the leaders will only come out when this competitive sense is reinforced with an ample amount of cooperation.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2024-10-31 | ekarumeblessing@icloud.com | 79 | view |
| 2024-08-31 | hainess25 | 70 | view |
| 2024-08-28 | Rishab@1999 | 50 | view |
| 2024-07-02 | MMoksha | 66 | view |
| 2024-06-30 | AkellaSrinivas | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Young people are the foundations of the ...
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...two reasons that I elaborate below. If someone is cooperative as a leader, t...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ir goal of saving their own people. An excessive sense of competition bestwo...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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... bad leader, instead of a good one. However, I will concede that a healthy l...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ed with an ample amount of cooperation.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, look, so, still, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 58.6224719101 97% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1925.0 2235.4752809 86% => OK
No of words: 399.0 442.535393258 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82456140351 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86065167299 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 215.323595506 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.49373433584 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 704.065955056 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.9437103935 60.3974514979 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.3125 118.986275619 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9375 23.4991977007 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.125 5.21951772744 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208024234984 0.243740707755 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0740896508475 0.0831039109588 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0336127297715 0.0758088955206 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135176122423 0.150359130593 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0328541981464 0.0667264976115 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.1392134831 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.8420337079 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 100.480337079 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.