Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Dream: The power to achieve what you think of is a dream. A dream is to think 'Yes we can', which doesn't allow us to sleep. The claim says that young people are suggested to follow their dream rather than to choose worthy goals. I disagree with the statement as well as the reason which says people have selfish goals.
Let's go back to the era of the 19th century when our "legends were born". Our reverential Einstien, who gave the equation on which science is dependent. Did he ever think that he will discover what he not ought to? He did not have a goal in life. History of his life was very unpredictable. Faraday can also give a good example when it comes to goal and dreams in life. It is the conviction to follow your heart which makes us what we are. Faraday wanted to discover something else, he had a different goal in life, however, he invented what he never even dreamt of.
There is one thing that is common in all of them that is, curiosity to learn and the conviction to do. This is where all the successful people commensurate. Nowadays, we can exemplify by Mark Zuckerberg, he is successful not because of he picked worthy goal in his lie and he was selfish, instead, he followed his heart and had the conviction to do perfectly with hundred percent. Following your heart and giving your hundred percent of your soul into it makes it worthy to live.
I disagree with the claim as well as the reason given above, it is not always right to choose worthy goal in life to live lavishly, instead, it following your heart what matters. By following your heart and giving your soul into what you do makes your life worthy to live. the reason is not true as well. People who are selfish cannot live worthy lives as it will become impossible to follow their heart as they will get persuaded every now and then.
- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company."According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any 66
- The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station."Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaint 79
- The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meal 50
- A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. 50
- Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military. 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 97, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
.... A dream is to think Yes we can, which doesnt allow us to sleep. The claim says that ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...ich says people have selfish goals. Lets go back to the era of the 19th century ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 226, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_I[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'because he' instead.
Suggestion: because he
...y Mark Zuckerberg, he is successful not because of he picked worthy goal in his lie and he wa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 365, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a hundred'.
Suggestion: a hundred
...had the conviction to do perfectly with hundred percent. Following your heart and givin...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 274, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
... you do makes your life worthy to live. the reason is not true as well. People who ...
^^^
Line 7, column 432, Rule ID: EVERY_NOW_AND_THEN[1]
Message: Use simply 'now and then'.
Suggestion: now and then
... their heart as they will get persuaded every now and then.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, then, well, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 33.0505617978 148% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 58.6224719101 68% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1502.0 2235.4752809 67% => OK
No of words: 337.0 442.535393258 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.45697329377 5.05705443957 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36557893279 2.79657885939 85% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 215.323595506 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477744807122 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 458.1 704.065955056 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 1.0 0.740449438202 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.9807141282 60.3974514979 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.1 118.986275619 63% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.85 23.4991977007 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.25 5.21951772744 43% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210634060804 0.243740707755 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0664099470646 0.0831039109588 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0618686639923 0.0758088955206 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136333291305 0.150359130593 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0522574010498 0.0667264976115 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.0 14.1392134831 57% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 48.8420337079 148% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 12.1743820225 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.29 12.1639044944 68% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.44 8.38706741573 77% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 100.480337079 43% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.8971910112 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.