Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive. Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
The claim states that government should provide adequate financial support to major cities, and provides the reason for the claim to be preservation of nation's cultural traditions. While I agree with the claim to aid cities monetarily, the reason provided by the author is not cogent. Major cities have several requirements that necessitate financial support, and cultural preservation is not a top requirement in that list. In fact, villages and small towns are more likely to retain the culture and traditions of a nation. Also, it is unclear how preserving cultural traditions will help cities to thrive. The reason thus provides inadequate support to the author's claim, and its fallacies can be easily proved by proffering opposing arguments.
Firstly, major cities definitely need to financial support from the government. However, the purpose of government aid to cities does not necessarily include preservation of the nation's culture. Major cities are viewed as the epicenters of the nation's trade, education, development and infrastructure to the outside world. Each city has a designated purpose - New York is home to some of the most prestigious universities such as NYU, Columbia University. Mountain View is where world's top tech companies have their headquarters. Beijing is among the most frequented business destinations. Washington D.C., Berlin, Tokyo are known for their political activities. These cities are not necessarily representative of their country's culture, history or tradition. Yet they must get adequate financial aid from the government as they act as the nation's powerhouse on certain levels. The governments need to keep their cities running so as to endure flourishing international trade, attracting skilled labor from across the world, establishing world policies. The author should have chosen this reason to provide a stronger case for his claim.
Unfortunately the reason the author provides is fallacious. The reason states that cities are instrumental in preserving the nation's cultural traditions. However, this does not seem to be the case at all. Cities are known for their fast moving, and progressive nature. One cannot expect a city to look the same way it did 5 years ago. Major cities all over the world have seen landscape changes due to expansion of roadways, introduction of metros, tubes or bullet trains, astronomical rise in residential complexes, high industrial growth. It is the villages, small towns and remote areas, miles away from the cities that have been left untouched by technological advancements which hold the country's rich heritage, and preserve ancient traditions. If the author wants financial aid to be directed in support of preserving a nation's culture, he should recommend the aid recipients to be these villages, not major cities.
Hence the author's claim is completely justified, however he fails to provide qualified reasons to support the claim.
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 83
- As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. 58
- Men and women, because of their inherent physical differences, are not equally suited for many tasks. 66
- A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. 83
- Productivity and Rewards 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 567, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rs. Beijing is among the most frequented business destinations. Washington D.C., ...
^^
Line 3, column 842, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'nations'' or 'nation's'?
Suggestion: nations'; nation's
... from the government as they act as the nations powerhouse on certain levels. The gover...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 930, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ments need to keep their cities running so as to endure flourishing international trade,...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...these villages, not major cities. Hence the authors claim is completely justifi...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, look, so, thus, while, as to, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 33.0505617978 73% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 58.6224719101 84% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2482.0 2235.4752809 111% => OK
No of words: 455.0 442.535393258 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.45494505495 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98552473718 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527472527473 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 763.2 704.065955056 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.060856286 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.4615384615 118.986275619 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5 23.4991977007 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.38461538462 5.21951772744 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.83258426966 228% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.438817400628 0.243740707755 180% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120604643476 0.0831039109588 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0802124963477 0.0758088955206 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.263007100153 0.150359130593 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0974142629036 0.0667264976115 146% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.03 12.1639044944 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 100.480337079 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.