Certainly, I can provide a revised version of your GRE Issue essay with improved structure, language use, and clarity:
The discussion on what makes a good leader is far from trivial, as numerous researchers have endeavored to define the essence of leadership and the process of leadership development. Prominent figures like Socrates, in 1960, defined a leader as the highest-ranking individual in any community, one who possesses the power to shape or dismantle that community. Conversely, Nelson Mandela viewed a leader as a diligent follower within society, someone capable of effectively handling and executing tasks presented with fairness. These and many other definitions have undergone extensive scrutiny, highlighting the complexity of defining leadership.
The essay prompt asserts that successful leaders in our society are products of the challenges they confront. I strongly disagree with this assertion for two primary reasons.
Firstly, leaders are not molded in a single day. Leadership development is a gradual and multifaceted process, much like constructing a house that stands the test of time. Building such a house requires careful design, acquiring materials, laying a strong foundation, and incremental development. Similarly, leaders cannot be created solely through the demands and challenges they face. What happens when they are confronted with tasks that exceed their capacity or knowledge? The consequences could be detrimental, as history has shown. Consider the Second World War conflict between the USA and Japan in 1956. Just 24 hours after Japan's Commander Lin Ho ordered an attack on American soil, the USA's 5-star Major General Richard made the momentous decision to use an atomic weapon on Hiroshima, effectively neutralizing 90% of the Japanese army. One might argue that it was the immediate wartime demand that triggered this retaliation, but the development of the atomic bomb took years of research and preparation. The use of this weapon was not a hasty response to the situation but the result of a long and rigorous scientific process.
Secondly, the adage "one man cannot make a forest" aptly illustrates the importance of collaboration and collective efforts in leadership. Leaders need the support and insights of others to evolve, confront challenges, and devise effective solutions. Consider the case of Prof. John, the 2023 Nobel Prize winner in medicine. His fascination with molecular science emerged during his time in Australia, where he completed his undergraduate and master's studies. Later, he pursued his PhD at Penn State University. Although many assume his groundbreaking research took place at Penn State, an interview with BBC News suggests that his interest was cultivated during his time in Australia, where he worked closely with his undergraduate thesis supervisor. Their collaborative approach led to the groundbreaking discoveries for which they both received recognition. This example underscores the significance of the connections formed over time in the execution of tasks.
In conclusion, while one might argue that the strict measures taken by the USA government during the COVID-19 pandemic were driven by the immediate demands of the situation, it's crucial to recognize that the materials and strategies employed were not created overnight. For instance, N95 masks were developed over a span of 15 years through numerous experiments before they became a widely used tool in 2015. The same principle applies to leadership development; it is a journey that requires time, determination, and a multitude of experiences.
In essence, a successful and effective leader cannot be shaped solely by the immediate demands they face; rather, leadership is a product of years of preparation, collaboration, and gradual development.
- Some people believe that society should try to save every plant and animal species despite the expense to humans in effort time and financial well being Others believe that society need not make extraordinary efforts especially at a great cost in money an 66
- The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people s efficiency so that they have more leisure time 58
- Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take In developing and supporting your position y 70
- diversity statement 11
- The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people s efficiency so that they have more leisure time 62
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, conversely, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, similarly, so, while, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 58.6224719101 123% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3253.0 2235.4752809 146% => OK
No of words: 580.0 442.535393258 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.60862068966 5.05705443957 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90746259869 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11195911546 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 345.0 215.323595506 160% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594827586207 0.4932671777 121% => OK
syllable_count: 1013.4 704.065955056 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 10.0 4.99550561798 200% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.3954380162 60.3974514979 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.172413793 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.58620689655 5.21951772744 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.97078651685 141% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.113505491047 0.243740707755 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0261220140661 0.0831039109588 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0266143499388 0.0758088955206 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0539042967542 0.150359130593 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0125829588083 0.0667264976115 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.1392134831 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.26 12.1639044944 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.16 8.38706741573 121% => OK
difficult_words: 203.0 100.480337079 202% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 11.8971910112 168% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, conversely, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, similarly, so, while, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 58.6224719101 123% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3253.0 2235.4752809 146% => OK
No of words: 580.0 442.535393258 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.60862068966 5.05705443957 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90746259869 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11195911546 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 345.0 215.323595506 160% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594827586207 0.4932671777 121% => OK
syllable_count: 1013.4 704.065955056 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 10.0 4.99550561798 200% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.3954380162 60.3974514979 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.172413793 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.58620689655 5.21951772744 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.97078651685 141% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.113505491047 0.243740707755 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0261220140661 0.0831039109588 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0266143499388 0.0758088955206 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0539042967542 0.150359130593 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0125829588083 0.0667264976115 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.1392134831 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.26 12.1639044944 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.16 8.38706741573 121% => OK
difficult_words: 203.0 100.480337079 202% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 11.8971910112 168% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.