People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Behaviour of a person is one of the most important part of his/ her personality. Person can be gregarious or reclusive, blissful or bleak and lazy or hard working. People live in a society where there are multiple number of external factors which can affect their behaviour such as school,friends and family. There can be many factors which might be subjected as the cause for their behaviour.But it is the choice of a person whether he/she wants to get influenced by them.
Students during their studies are around many friends, some of the friends are serious about their career and some are not. These external factors can have affect on the behaviour of a student. There are many external forces which are on the students such as their parents pressure, to study and get good grades. But there can also be a case where these parents do not care much about the studies of their children. However, this does not mean that a student whose parents are concious about the career of their child will do hard work and will thrive in his studies. It is possible that even though the parents wants him to be hard working but he is not concerned about his life. On the other hand, if parents are not concerned about the career of their children career then this does not mean that student will not be serious for his studies. It is possible that he wants to achieve greater goals and it his ambition to become a successful engineer or a doctor, then even though his parents are not bothered, he will do hard work and his behaviour will not be affected by the external factors.
Society is build with government and people, government makes laws and people follow them. Lets take an instance of a country where there are strict rules for littering. Then in that country people will not litter , and will keep their environment clean. But this does not mean that their behaviour will change. It is possible a person who does not throw garbage outside because of the fear of laws and fine may also keep his home clean. This can be because the person is not much bothered about the cleanliness and hygiene. So can we say that government which is a external factor do not have direct affect on the nature of a person.
There are many families where parents are having a good relation with each other , while in some they do not. Child grow under the parents and they may face some problems because of their parents quarrels. But on the other some other hand, child may grow under parents who love each other.But does it mean that the child in the second case will be optimistic, loving and caring ? It is not always the case because child chooses what he likes, it is his choice whether he is grouchy or fun to be around. It is the child choice whether he wants to be gregarious or reclusive. Even if parents will push child to go out and talk to other , but still it is the child demeanour which will not allow to talk to other people. Even the parents influences this does not mean that the behaviour of the child will change.
In conclusion , I would say that even though there are many external factors which might affect the behaviour of a person. However, it is the choice of the person whether he wants to be affected by these external factors . Also, society should not be blamed not credited for the behaviour of a person because it the choice that the person makes.
- In a laboratory study of two different industrial cleansers, CleanAll was found to remove 40% more dirt and kill 30% more bacteria than the next best cleanser. Furthermore, a study showed that employees working at buildings cleaned with CleanAll used far 37
- The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College."To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current 40
- Schools should cut funding for extracurricular activities such as sports and the arts when school buildingsare in need of repair. 50
- Governments should offer a free university education to any student who has been admitted to a university but who cannot afford the tuition. 50
- People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 289, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , friends
...an affect their behaviour such as school,friends and family. There can be many factors w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 394, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...jected as the cause for their behaviour.But it is the choice of a person whether he...
^^^
Line 3, column 56, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... their studies are around many friends, some of the friends are serious about their career ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 157, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...re not. These external factors can have affect on the behaviour of a student. There are m...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 92, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...ment makes laws and people follow them. Lets take an instance of a country where the...
^^^^
Line 5, column 214, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n in that country people will not litter , and will keep their environment clean. ...
^^
Line 5, column 565, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... So can we say that government which is a external factor do not have direct affe...
^
Line 5, column 602, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...is a external factor do not have direct affect on the nature of a person. There are ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ect affect on the nature of a person. There are many families where parents ar...
^^^
Line 7, column 81, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e having a good relation with each other , while in some they do not. Child grow u...
^^
Line 7, column 117, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'grows'.
Suggestion: grows
...ther , while in some they do not. Child grow under the parents and they may face som...
^^^^
Line 7, column 117, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Child) must be used with a third-person verb: 'grows'.
Suggestion: grows
...ther , while in some they do not. Child grow under the parents and they may face som...
^^^^
Line 7, column 290, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
... grow under parents who love each other.But does it mean that the child in the seco...
^^^
Line 7, column 634, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...l push child to go out and talk to other , but still it is the child demeanour whi...
^^
Line 7, column 694, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'talking'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: talking
...he child demeanour which will not allow to talk to other people. Even the parents influ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... the child will change. In conclusion , I would say that even though there are ...
^^
Line 9, column 221, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...to be affected by these external factors . Also, society should not be blamed not ...
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'so', 'still', 'then', 'while', 'in conclusion', 'such as', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.198170731707 0.238963963785 83% => OK
Verbs: 0.175304878049 0.154291517835 114% => OK
Adjectives: 0.077743902439 0.0886310499679 88% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0609756097561 0.0506014161523 121% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0701219512195 0.0449626384858 156% => OK
Prepositions: 0.115853658537 0.123526278965 94% => OK
Participles: 0.0259146341463 0.0379742944744 68% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.29611024357 2.82910677849 81% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0182926829268 0.0316879551592 58% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0014075125626 0% => More particles wanted.
Determiners: 0.0990853658537 0.0950106342287 104% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0396341463415 0.0245489744465 161% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0213414634146 0.0157978311181 135% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3374.0 2899.98275862 116% => OK
No of words: 614.0 478.390804598 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.49511400651 6.0591788892 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.977853291 4.65681771538 107% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.288273615635 0.369966551584 78% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.205211726384 0.285172536893 72% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.115635179153 0.207245337619 56% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0586319218241 0.136322040163 43% => More words length more than 8 chars wanted.
Word Length SD: 2.29611024357 2.82910677849 81% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 234.298850575 89% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.340390879479 0.492565540709 69% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 41.3731289134 56.8184620615 73% => OK
How many sentences: 29.0 21.1264367816 137% => OK
Sentence length: 21.1724137931 23.7468607788 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.2817803055 62.0618507366 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.344827586 143.81877709 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1724137931 23.7468607788 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.448275862069 0.728815259664 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.87931034483 102% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 7.71264367816 220% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 41.6935864315 52.2641144681 80% => OK
Elegance: 1.10945273632 1.64547068916 67% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174330427715 0.39480681544 44% => More coherence wanted between essay topic and essay body.
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.164324300684 0.11556216369 142% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.104612532188 0.0736162880345 142% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.502756138908 0.531340600358 95% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.130423508235 0.15197228837 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0773804710476 0.158818324754 49% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0384894987055 0.0851127212816 45% => The sentences are too close to each other.
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.384051940532 0.388921930462 99% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0462386013122 0.0677916285025 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132508959806 0.28015025965 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0326669740813 0.0610219844235 54% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.8591954023 129% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.30459770115 113% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.96264367816 181% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 12.0 8.10632183908 148% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 3.93390804598 153% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 3.04597701149 197% => OK
Total topic words: 24.0 15.0862068966 159% => OK
--------------------------
Rates: 54.1666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay E-rater: 3.25 Out of 6