The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for t

I do not agree with the statement. Increasing efficiency and productivity of humans is only one goal of the technology advancement; there are other equally important goals for technology advancement. Moreover, the time saved by technology advancement can be used for creative work other than for leisure.
Some fields of technology are not increasing efficiency of people, but they are making people healthier. For example, researchers in the medical field are developing new medicines and therapies to treat formerly incurable diseases. For example, before Penicillin was invented, millions of people injured in war were dead because of infection. After Penicillin was invented, infection was no longer as deadly as before. Penicillin along with other antibiotics, helped to save lots of lifes nowadays. The development in medical technology does not increase our efficiency in life, but they are so important that they increase our life expectancy greatly. This goal of technological development is equally important as increasing efficiency.
Another important goal of technological development is to increase happiness of people. In order to be happy, people should maintain a good relationship with their surroundings. A good piece of technology invention can facilitate communication and help people to maintain good relations with their friend and family, and thus make them feel satisfied. For example, with the help of Internet, we can communicate with our friends even if we are on opposite sides of the earth, and share great moments with each other in video chat. These communication technology helps us to communicate more vividly and make us feel no longer lonely.
Undoubtedly, just as the statement says, the advancement of technology has enable us to be more efficient and productive than before. Technology has shortened long distance for us. For example, when the airplane had not been invented, the fastest vehicle might be the car, which can travel 100 kilometers per hour. We cannot travel by airplanes as fast as 10 times faster than by car. Moreover, technology has also increased our productivity. With computers and software, we can do math thousands of times faster than human mind. All these advancement in technology has saved us time for some other purposes. Some people used this saved time for leisure.
However, this saved time can be used for more creative work other than entertainment. Although some of the repetitive, routine work can be replaced by technology gadgets such as computers, there are still much work for human to do. Let's take the computers for example. Though the computers can follow human's instructions to do repetitive calculations, there are work cannot be done by computers. This work usually requires human intelligence and creativity, for example, writing a novel, drawing an impressionism picture, or designing new gadgets in technology, and human can use the time saved by computers on these pieces of work.
In all, the statement failed to see that there are other equally important goals of technology development and that the saved time can be used for more creative work, so I do not agree with it.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... creative work other than for leisure. Some fields of technology are not increa...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly important as increasing efficiency. Another important goal of technological ...
^^
Line 3, column 532, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this communication' or 'These communications'?
Suggestion: This communication; These communications
... moments with each other in video chat. These communication technology helps us to communicate more...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dly and make us feel no longer lonely. Undoubtedly, just as the statement says,...
^^
Line 4, column 78, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'enabled'.
Suggestion: enabled
...says, the advancement of technology has enable us to be more efficient and productive ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 536, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this advancement' or 'these advancements'?
Suggestion: this advancement; these advancements
...ds of times faster than human mind. All these advancement in technology has saved us time for som...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ople used this saved time for leisure. However, this saved time can be used for...
^^
Line 5, column 97, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...work other than entertainment. Although some of the repetitive, routine work can be replace...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 234, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...re are still much work for human to do. Lets take the computers for example. Though ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... by computers on these pieces of work. In all, the statement failed to see that...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'however', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'still', 'thus', 'for example', 'such as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.248677248677 0.240241500013 104% => OK
Verbs: 0.155202821869 0.157235817809 99% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0811287477954 0.0880659088768 92% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0758377425044 0.0497285424764 153% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0388007054674 0.0444667217837 87% => OK
Prepositions: 0.142857142857 0.12292977631 116% => OK
Participles: 0.0405643738977 0.0406280797675 100% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.99233123197 2.79330140395 107% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0176366843034 0.030933414821 57% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0634920634921 0.0997080785238 64% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0246913580247 0.0249443105267 99% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00352733686067 0.0148568991511 24% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3174.0 2732.02544248 116% => OK
No of words: 504.0 452.878318584 111% => OK
Chars per words: 6.29761904762 6.0361032391 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.58838876751 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.359126984127 0.366273622748 98% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.299603174603 0.280924506359 107% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.25 0.200843997647 124% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.196428571429 0.132149295362 149% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99233123197 2.79330140395 107% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 219.290929204 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462301587302 0.48968727796 94% => OK
Word variations: 53.2367674983 55.4138127331 96% => OK
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6194690265 141% => OK
Sentence length: 17.3793103448 23.380412469 74% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7300311247 59.4972553346 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.448275862 141.124799967 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3793103448 23.380412469 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.344827586207 0.674092028746 51% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.94800884956 121% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.21349557522 192% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 47.3396278051 51.4728631049 92% => OK
Elegance: 1.60130718954 1.64882698954 97% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.37484123009 0.391690518653 96% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.149418368627 0.123202303941 121% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.13224925455 0.077325440228 171% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.46179028628 0.547984918172 84% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.173864913968 0.149214159877 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.122555454519 0.161403998019 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0721959292807 0.0892212321368 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.305176876748 0.385218514788 79% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0467606751201 0.0692045440612 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.245317431415 0.275328986314 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0409302320125 0.0653680567796 63% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.4325221239 153% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.30420353982 151% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88274336283 102% => OK
Positive topic words: 15.0 7.22455752212 208% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 3.66592920354 164% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.70907079646 148% => OK
Total topic words: 25.0 13.5995575221 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.