Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
For the young generation, pursuing one’s goal is both adventurous but arduous experience. Many seniors give advice to them not to do a silly thing but move sticking to your long-term and realistic goal. However, the advice is not always applicable nor successful to young people. The following essay will argue that it is plausible to disagree with the author’s statement and present the following reasons to support this point of view.
Admittedly, when people seek long-term and realistic goals, it has much higher percentage to become successful. For instance, rather than dreaming of becoming a pop star in one year, setting a goal of opening a bakery in 10 years is much more plausible. Considering the job availability and one’s talent, the latter requires much lower standard and the entry barrier is not high. However, to become a pop star, not only you have to have a distinguished talent, but those who can succeed as a star is limited in number. Therefore, it is more realistic to pursue a long-term and practical goal considering the qualifications and job vacancies.
However, pursuing immediate fame and recognition can motivate young people to become adventurous and fearless. Even though dreaming about immediate fame and recognition might seem silly and implausible, that is how many pop stars could achieve the status now. For instance, Michael Jackson, who was interested in music spent his youth to gain popularity as a singer. If he had worried about the realistic causes and gave up becoming a star, he could not have become the world’s most famous singer with best-selling albums. Therefore, it is encouraged for the young generation to challenge for their dream when this dream is based on their strong ambition.
Furthermore, for many young people, setting a long-term goal is not easy in this rapidly changing society. New technologies are invented every month and these are changing the market environment faster than ever. For example, the music player industry was booming 10 years ago, and the future of it seemed very promising. However, now as the smartphone was invented, the music player became useless and its sales plunged to the ground. Seeing this, we cannot ensure that opening a bakery will not be useless in 10 years even if a convenient baking machine will be invented. Therefore, it might seem more practical to set a short-term goal every year and shift it through depending on changing environment.
In consequence, even though long-term and realistic goals are likely to be achieved, it might not be applicable to the young generation who wants to pursue risky and living in a dynamic world.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
not only you have to have a distinguished talent,
Description: need inversion when 'not only' is at the beginning of a sentence
but those who can succeed as a star is limited in number
but those who can succeed as a star are limited in number
depending on changing environment.
depending on a/the changing environment.
flaws:
Some issues with the argument 3. from the conclusion:
'Therefore, it might seem more practical to set a short-term goal every year and shift it through depending on changing environment.'
'immediate fame and recognition' is not equal to 'a short-term goal'. or 'a short-term goal' doesn't mean an 'immediate fame and recognition'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2150 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.931 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.684 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.762 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.236 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, so, therefore, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 58.6224719101 68% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2241.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 436.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13990825688 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84729393234 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 215.323595506 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509174311927 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 686.7 704.065955056 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 25.5705861349 60.3974514979 42% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 106.714285714 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7619047619 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.38095238095 5.21951772744 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303291203702 0.243740707755 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0855607597096 0.0831039109588 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0844499611805 0.0758088955206 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169661132385 0.150359130593 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0520709773125 0.0667264976115 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 100.480337079 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.