The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The graph below compares two countries in terms of the number of unemployment between March 1993 and March 1999.
It is clear that in March 1993, America had by far the highest number of unemployed people and in the opposite, Japan had the lowest rate, about one out of third in America. It is also noticeable that during the two last years, unemployment in both countries tended to be fairly similar.
In the first comparison, it is obvious that joblessness in US had decreased slightly in a period less than a year, but this tendency had fluctuations till March 1995, with the least rate was 5.5% of workforces. However, it is shown the percentage had some rises during its plunge, the number of unemployment had reached the minimum percentage in six years (5%).
Comparing unemployment rates in Japan in this era, it had also had some fluctuations to hit its peak in 1999. Although it did have a significant fall before March 1996(1%), the trend had continued to reach the top in where American reduced its unemployment.
To recap, it is essential to say US had deducted its unemployment to 2% less than in 1993, but Japan couldn't keep the low percentage and the unemployed Japanese had growth to 2.5% more than their original.
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Comments
Why is it wrong? because of
Why is it wrong? because of the verb "deduct to" or any other reasons?
flaws:
'less than' is used wrongly.
To recap, it is essential to say US had deducted its unemployment to 2% less than in 1993, but Japan couldn't keep the low percentage and the unemployed Japanese had growth to 2.5% more than their original.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 215 200
No. of Characters: 983 1000
No. of Different Words: 118 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.829 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.572 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.703 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 57 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.474 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.476 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.802 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4