Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Small stall usually sell interesting product to makes customer buy their product. But, sometimes they produced their food without consider customer health. They consider about how to make big profit, so they use unhealthy ingredient. Children become victim to buy unhealthy food because children did not know healthy food or unhealthy food. This essay will examine about who is take responsibility to solve this problem.
Children spend a lot of their time in school from morning to afternoon. Also they buy some food to their lunch. But, children usually did not care about their food and they look the cheapest dishes. They did not care how to produce their food and the ingredient, because of that seller is easy to sell unhealthy food to children.
In my view, schools have a part to take responsibly. It is because children spend a lot of time in school, and also school must control and manage seller who sell unhealthy food. For instance, school must select seller who want to sell product, so it will be easy to control unhealthy product.
On one hand, parents must give advice to their children about how to select seller who sell healthy food. As the result, children will be more consider when they want to buy food. I think. It is better if parent cook healthy food to their children, so children did not to buy food in their school.
To sum up, both of schools and parents have different responsibility, for instance school has responsibility in children school to manage seller who sell unhealthy product and parents have responsibility in home to give advice about unhealthy food.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2013-11-15 | Rita Irianti | 34 | view |
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Sentence: Small stall usually sell interesting product to makes customer buy their product.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and makes
Sentence: But, sometimes they produced their food without consider customer health.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to without and consider
Sentence: This essay will examine about who is take responsibility to solve this problem.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and take
Sentence: As the result, children will be more consider when they want to buy food.
Description: The fragment more consider when is rare
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Different Words: 115 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 272 350
No. of Characters: 1290 1500
No. of Different Words: 115 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.061 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.743 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.452 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.776 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5