In many countries today insufficient repect is shown to older people.
What do you think may be the reason for this?
What problems might this cause in society?
In many parts of the world, there are now a mainstream in which people increasingly become more frail due to the age. In fact, the elderly in the modern life appear to be respected inadequately. In this essay, I will outline some possible reasons explaining why this happens and problems might this cause in society as a result.
One main reason might be that relationship between young relatives and older generations now is not close-nit like in the past. Nowadays, the family life, in fact, is more mobile than ever before and the type of conventional family, such as extended family is step by step replacing by nuclear and one-parent family. As a consequence, there is not enough contacting between the aged and young family members; therefore, young children may be lack of understanding what the older famiily members' contributions to them.
In addition, another reason could be that the evolvement in technology makes the elderly become less good in their young generation's eyes. This may due to the fact that, while the aged find that hard to cope with modern technology, such as computer, their young children can use almost every devices without intensive training or underlying knowledge.
This bad view might eventually lead to undesirable consequences in the society. Possibly, since the aged is not respected sufficiently, young employees might be feel that they no need to pay for taxes or retirements which they think just distribute to older people. as well as this, another negative result is that young people just seen the elder as a burden of society resulting to young family members no longer want to look after them, which in turn increasing more pressure for the states. They might need to build ,for example, nursing homes for aged population; therefore, dwindling pension funds as a result.
overall, as the increase in a number of the aged in society, there will be, of course, undesirable consequences might caused by non-valuating approprially the aged. However, experience suggests that wherever the governments take more efforts in addressing this challenge constructively, the effects appear to be not significant.
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Sentence: In many parts of the world, there are now a mainstream in which people increasingly become more frail due to the age.
Description: The fragment now a mainstream is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: In fact, the elderly in the modern life appear to be respected inadequately.
Description: The fragment life appear to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace appear with verb, past tense
Sentence: This may due to the fact that, while the aged find that hard to cope with modern technology, such as computer, their young children can use almost every devices without intensive training or underlying knowledge.
Description: A verb, past participle is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to aged and find
Sentence: overall, as the increase in a number of the aged in society, there will be, of course, undesirable consequences might caused by non-valuating approprially the aged.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to might and caused
Sentence: As a consequence, there is not enough contacting between the aged and young family members; therefore, young children may be lack of understanding what the older famiily members' contributions to them.
Error: famiily Suggestion: family
Sentence: In addition, another reason could be that the evolvement in technology makes the elderly become less good in their young generation's eyes.
Error: evolvement Suggestion: No alternate word
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1754 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.011 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.799 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.526 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.626 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5