The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.

Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

It is true that, most of the children in western countries such as the UK, USA and other European countries are suffering from child obesity, and in the last decade the obesity growth is almost 20% more.

There are possible reasons, why there is an increase in child obesity. Firstly, most of the children are given higher amount as a pocket money by their parents while going to school, this led them to buy more unhealthy food, such as deep fried potato chips or sandwich with lots of extra cheese. Secondly, most of the western countries have a huge production of cheese, for example, country li...

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2013-09-10 Guru 85 view
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Sentence: Finally, those who prefer playing computer games will also have negatives effects, outdoor games requires lots of physical movement and computer games doesn't. Therefore overall growth of the child is very slow, due to less physical movement, their reflexes are slow, and lack of stamina and other health related areas.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to negatives and effects
Description: The fragment games requires lots is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace requires with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive

flaws:
Secondly, most of the western countries have a huge production of cheese, for example, country like Switzerland has a huge production of Cheese.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2109 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.882 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.46 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.216 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5