Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in
easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays, patriotic soul are rarely can be seen from young generation. Since no longer war these days, world cup and other international sporting occasions are necessary to release patriotic emotions in a safe way. International sporting occasions are very important to gather all people into one spirit and to trigger young generation to do sport.
To begin with, in this global era, with many kind of technology and variation of business type. Many young generation are encourage to have patriotic emotion, the best solution to explore and shows patriotic emotion is with support national team in football world cup for example. Football able to united people all over the country, when the national team play the game; all tension, emotion and fear gathered into one spirit. Maybe many of people doesn’t recognise if they act clearly shows the spirit of patriotic.
In addition, sport are the most important part in human life. But in this century; with all those kind of new technology, people are lazy to do some exercise. Computer and internet change the world dramatically; not only in big nations, but also in the poor nations. The solution of these problem is to use patriotic spirit to encourage young generation to love sport and make it as one of part daily activity.
However, some people also assumed that to release patriotic soul are based on military training. Army training would provides every young generation to love their nation and also ability of war; if someday the nations attack by other country. This can bee seen in south korea, even the artist or rock star must attend this 1 year military study when they reached 17th.
In conclusion, patriotic emotions are a must, world cup and other international sport occasions are the best way to trigger it in positives ways. Furthermore international sport event also will encourage people to do sport.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2013-11-03 | jackykeizen@gmail.com | 60 | view |
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Sentence: Nowadays, patriotic soul are rarely can be seen from young generation.
Description: The fragment are rarely can is rare
Sentence: Football able to united people all over the country, when the national team play the game; all tension, emotion and fear gathered into one spirit.
Description: The word united is not usually used as a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to united
Description: The fragment team play the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace play with verb, past tense
Sentence: Army training would provides every young generation to love their nation and also ability of war; if someday the nations attack by other country.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to would and provides
Sentence: In conclusion, patriotic emotions are a must, world cup and other international sport occasions are the best way to trigger it in positives ways.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to positives and ways
flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 5.579 7.5
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1524 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.869 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.516 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.579 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.585 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5