Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
İnternational sport competitions have been held since ancient times.Some people believe that popular events like Olympic games and other sporting occassions are crucial in easing international tensions and displaying patriotic emotions in a safe way.There is no doubt that, sports, especially footbal can facilitate international tensions and reduce patriotic emotions.However, sport events can increase advert feelings between hostile countries.
To begin with,the football world cup is one of the best way to illustrate positive and friendly examples to the world.In the football world cup people will gather to one country from all over the world.In this case,people from other countries,cultures and religions will meet each other and gain more information regarding each other traditions and cultures and it will help them to reduce international tensions and patriotic emotions.Moreover,footballplayers also can give message to the world by shaking hand and wearing logos.For instance, in 2010 North Korea demonstrated friendly act against their enemy South Korea.Thats why sport events are imperative in abreviation international tensions and patriotic senses.
On the other hand,sport events can worse conditions and patriotic feelings between states.After match there can be collision among fans since one team can lost and it will increase conflict among audiences.For instance, games between Greece and Turkey are always intensive and there can be even death among spectators.
In my opinion,big sport affairs can assist people to be friendly and shorten patriotic emotions and international tensions.But at the same time it can explode feelings among countries and situations can worsen.In conclusion, not only sport occassions and also music,painting and other fields can make healthy,happy and peaceful life among people from diparate countries,religions and cultures.
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Sentence: After match there can be collision among fans since one team can lost and it will increase conflict among audiences.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to can and lost
Sentence: Some people believe that popular events like Olympic games and other sporting occassions are crucial in easing international tensions and displaying patriotic emotions in a safe way.
Error: occassions Suggestion: occasions
Sentence: There is no doubt that, sports, especially footbal can facilitate international tensions and reduce patriotic emotions.
Error: footbal Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Moreover, footballplayers also can give message to the world by shaking hand and wearing logos.
Error: footballplayers Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Thats why sport events are imperative in abreviation international tensions and patriotic senses.
Error: abreviation Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In conclusion, not only sport occassions and also music, painting and other fields can make healthy, happy and peaceful life among people from diparate countries, religions and cultures.
Error: diparate Suggestion: disparate
Error: occassions Suggestion: occasions
flaws:
better to support only one side:
para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion: because of reasons 1,2,3, so i choose A/B or agree/disagree.
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1578 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.404 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.69 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.86 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5