Some people regard video games as harmless fun, even as a useful education tools. Other, however believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks outweigh the benefit?
It is true that many people say video games have many drawbacks that change their life that are not good. While I accept that some of people sure of it, I do believe there are a lot of advantages from playing the video games that improve many skills people can get through playing the video games.
Some people certain that there are much more disadvantages in video games. This statement probably comes from many parents experiences that their children are become bad in behaviour and manner such as less social interaction. People who play a lot of video games use their eyes to screen. Which also means that they will here no time to interact in society. Another behaviour is like doing violence to the other.
On the other side, some people say that the benefits are much more than the drawbacks. This, however, have been proved by many people who play video games and take the advantage from it. For example, some get fluent in english language, people who play video games will fluent in English, even they are not native and know nothing about english. Function of video games will increase by this benefit. Video games can be a set of entertainment and learning tools for the people who desire both. Mention about behaviour, there is a good effect that can make people’s behaviour improved, it is fast respond behaviour that the mostly people get from FPS-game or first person shooter game. With the fast respond skill that used in FPS-game, people will influenced to be fast in responding something with their job, then, their life become better with this improved skill.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against video games, but i believe that there are a lot of advantages people can get through play it if they can play carefully and wisely. I suggest to parents to guide their children to be more carefully while playing video games. With parents paying attention to their children, they will get more benefits when play it.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2013-11-02 | fatihamzah | 50 | view |
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Sentence: This statement probably comes from many parents experiences that their children are become bad in behaviour and manner such as less social interaction.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and experiences
Sentence: Mention about behaviour, there is a good effect that can make people's behaviour improved, it is fast respond behaviour that the mostly people get from FPS-game or first person shooter game.
Description: The fragment the mostly people is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace mostly with adjective
Sentence: With the fast respond skill that used in FPS-game, people will influenced to be fast in responding something with their job, then, their life become better with this improved skill.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and influenced
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 340 350
No. of Characters: 1590 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.294 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.676 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.215 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.52 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5