Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers, rather than benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays, many people realize that education gives beneficial effect for people’s life. Some of them think that primary aim of educational institution creates young people have excellent personality as inhabitants and employers. However some others believe that education simply accord young generation become individualist.
Some parents send their children to school because they think that school could teach kids many lessons through some academic methods which have by appropriate teachers. Moreover, school makes young learners to be good citizens and workers due to they are educated by right person such as educator or tutors who has good competency in particular field. For instance, in Indonesia, several formal educations are given a responsibility to teach their students about vocational and citizenship. Hopefully, young generations have sense of belonging to build and to develop toward nation and country. It appears when the activity of learning and teaching is held by school on Monday, usually students must follow the flag ceremony as manifestation of loveliness. In addition, students might learn how to develop their ability through life skill subjects, so they are ready to face the real life in society.
Some other people argue that school encourages students to compete with their friends to achieve best scores. It might be trigger of them become individualists. Moreover, students might learn independently to face some assignments such as homework and task. As a result, they do not really know how to solve problem appropriately. Then, some students prefer invite tutor or come to course institution to assist them than study together with their friends. It might be positive result for best achievement in academic but this condition could make some students simply focus on some compulsory subjects. So, young learners ignore the value of togetherness among them and they also do not participate in social relationship. This characteristic could influence society become individualists. They simply overwhelm toward own business without really care what happened around them.
In my point of view, the main purpose of school is to turn people become good individual as citizen who is able to compete with the real world is claimed very important to build and to develop for improvement of their states because this could become foundation for particular country. The main key to reach the goal of country needs best education to produce better society that have ability to work and to take part in national developing. Their skills are drilled through excellent education system, so they could be good citizens and workers. If each person has good ability in particular field and governments could empower this potential resource, their country would struggle to reach goal become developed nation.
To conclude, some people claim that school takes an important role to make the youngster to be good citizens and employer. It is true that their skills are trained through some subjects that give benefit for them. I really agree that school change people become good societies and competitive workers rather than benefit them as individuals due to basically developed country begin with good citizens and employers.
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Sentence: Moreover, school makes young learners to be good citizens and workers due to they are educated by right person such as educator or tutors who has good competency in particular field.
Description: don`t put a complete sentence after `due to`
flaws:
No. of Words: 508 350
Sentences need to be polished.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 508 350
No. of Characters: 2695 1500
No. of Different Words: 257 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.748 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.305 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.663 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.32 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.853 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.56 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5