Some people think that museums should be enjoyable place to entertain, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In this century, museums control by government which several reasons. It is irrefutable that museums are evidence of civilization long time ago. Large number of society thought that museums should provide the visitor to comfortable and happy when they visit this place as an entertain building. Other opinions, museums should prepare for students who want to study about history.
Students and workers need place to spend their holiday. Beach, zoo, and Town Park are common tourism places they visit every week for refreshing. From this cause, plentiful of them go to museums to get new object. There, they could take a photo with their family by using museums as a background. For instance, in Makassar, one of capital city of province in Indonesia has several museums; Benteng Rotterdam is one of them. Because in down town, every day there are many viewers go to this building but almost their purpose only take a picture with their family or friends in school and university.
On the other hand, some students feel bored to study only theoretical about history. They need things to imagine that the history is true. In the school, many students would understand easier when they see or practice the tools of lesson. As result, teachers invite their students to go to museums for learning history. At the museums, they would get more information from guides who really understand this subject.
Nowadays, museums are always crowded every day because the officer could combine between entertainment and education. Thus, academia could learn while they enjoy also. Museums make spectators become happy and know their history.
To put in a nutshell, I pen down saying that museums should provide their visitors to get good service which include new information and comfortable in this place.
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In this century, museums covered by government which several reasons.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Large number of society think that museums should provide the visitor to comfortable and happy when they visit this place as an entertain building.
Description: The fragment society think that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace think with verb, past tense
Students and workers need place spend their holiday.
Suggestion: Students and workers need place to spend their holiday.
they could take a photo with their family which content of museums as a background.
Suggestion: they could take a photo with their family by using museums as a background.
Nowadays, museums always crowded every day
Suggestion: Nowadays, museums are always crowded every day
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1459 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.997 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.371 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.285 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.263 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5