The graph below describes prices of housing in Sometown in 2005.

Essay topics:

The graph below describes prices of housing in Sometown in 2005.

The presented double line graph compares the average prices of sold and on market residences in Sometown across the last six months of 2005. It cam be clearly seen that there was a large gap between the two values for most of discussed term.

The line graph of average price of on market residences was at its maximum of 335 thousand dollars in July; but then this mark had gradually decreased to 320 thousand dollars reaching its bottom in September. Following that, the figures had surged by almost ten thousand dollars in october. However, after a sequential decline, the average returned to its minimum in December.

In contrast to the on market houses, the average cost of the purchased properties was much lower fluctuating under 310 thousand dollars during the whole given period. Starting at 300 thousand dollars in July the figures slightly increased in August, which was followed by a drop to a low of 290 thousand dollars in September and October. In November, the mean cost surged by 14 thousand dollars. After that, in December, a slight increase resulted into a maximum for the sold houses average price during the period.

To conclude, although both line graphs show some fluctuation, a trend of reduction of the gap between the two averages can be seen. By the end of the year, the gap diminished to its least mark of about ten thousand dollars.

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Comments

Sentence: It cam be clearly seen that there was a large gap between the two values for most of discussed term.
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to cam and be

Sentence: The line graph of average price of on market residences was at its maximum of 335 thousand dollars in July; but then this mark had gradually decreased to 320 thousand dollars reaching its bottom in September.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to of and on

In contrast to the on market houses,
In contrast to the houses on market ,

flaws:
You are in the wrong way. Don't need to go details. read the requirements:
'Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.'

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July-Sept Sept-Oct Oct-Dec Total
On market down up down down

Sold down flat up up
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No. of Words: 234 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 234 200
No. of Characters: 1102 1000
No. of Different Words: 126 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.911 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.709 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.448 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.472 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.273 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.635 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4