( re-write) The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy since 1980 with projections until 2030. ( book 9)
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the consumption of six diverse electrical recourses in the USA namely petrol and oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind, hydropower as well as providing the prognosis till 2030.
Generally, the energy layout is expected to rise, but at distinct paces. Evidently, the data demonstrates that the ratio of petrol and oil in the previous years wasn’t sustain, but in the coming years the prediction will most considerable. Prior to facing an erratic trend between 1985 and 1995, 35 quadrillion units. Nevertheless, the future forecast of petrol and oil will retain its dominant position by proliferation until 2030.Conversely, by comparing coal and natural gas a very minimum discrepancy can be noticed in utilization with 5 and 7 quadrillion units in the initial and the final decades respectively.
Finally, the energy powers nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower are assessed to be less significant from 1980 till 2013. Starting from a negligible 4 quadrillion unit, statistics were comparable until 1990. However, the earlier and the following decades are considered some divergence between them, but, consequently, the nuclear energy’s units moderately grew and reach 6 quadrillion at the end.
In short, the graph, figures delineate the overall prognosis of petrol and oil, which will immensely grow in the estimates period.
Sentence: Evidently, the data demonstrates that the ratio of petrol and oil in the previous years wasn't sustain, but in the coming years the prediction will most considerable.
Sentence: Evidently, the data demonstrates that the ratio of petrol and oil in the previous years didn't sustain, but in the coming years the prediction will be much considerable.
Prior to facing an erratic trend between 1985 and 1995, 35 quadrillion units.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence?
However, the earlier and the following decades are considered some divergence between them, but, consequently, the nuclear energy’s units moderately grew and reach 6 quadrillion at the end.
Description: don't put 'However' 'but' in one sentence.
Sentence: In short, the graph, figures delineate the overall prognosis of petrol and oil, which will immensely grow in the estimates period.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to estimates and period
Sentence: The line graph illustrates the consumption of six diverse electrical recourses in the USA namely petrol and oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind, hydropower as well as providing the prognosis till 2030.
Error: recourses Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.046 0.07
This one is better:
http://testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-below-gives-inform…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 213 200
No. of Characters: 1109 1000
No. of Different Words: 135 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.82 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.207 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.917 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 80 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.975 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.648 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.046 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4