writing task 1: The pie charts shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990. summarise the information by selecting and reportingthe main features,and make comparison where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the important reason of agricultural land production become less and the table the proportion of three difference regions degradation causes.
As per the pie chart,the main reason of less production of agricultural land is 35% in over-grazing.The cow have the grass more than half of the circle. Whereas, next reason of less production is deforestation.It means the forest become destroy dramatically reduced to 30%. However,the other reason in over-cultivation slightly reduced to 28%. Moreover, the other reason drastically went down to 7%.
According to the table, the causes of land degraded by deforestation in Europe was 9.8%, over cultivation 7.7% and over-grazing in oceania was high when compared with North America. It was 1.7%, 11.3%,0.2% and 1.5% relatively. On the contrary, the over cultivation in North America was more 3.3% than oceania 0%.
To conclude, in the year 1990, the reason of worldwide land degradation in over-grazing was high and the proportion of three region which Europe was more when compared with others.
Sentence: The pie chart illustrates the important reason of agricultural land production become less and the table the proportion of three difference regions degradation causes.
Description: The fragment production become less is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to regions and degradation
It means the forest become destroy dramatically reduced to 30%
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
The cow have the grass more than half of the circle.
The cow has the grass more than half of the circle.
Sentence: To conclude, in the year 1990, the reason of worldwide land degradation in over-grazing was high and the proportion of three region which Europe was more when compared with others.
Description: A qualifier, pre is not usually followed by a WH-adverb
Suggestion: Refer to more and when
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 30 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 174 200
No. of Characters: 874 1000
No. of Different Words: 91 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.632 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.023 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.038 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 59 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.635 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.71 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4