Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to young people To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Essay topics:

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and
this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, it is undeniable that famous people have been incredibly drawing more attention
based on the way they look and earn money more than on their accomplishments. I completely admit
that it can negatively affect young people influenced in many different ways.
First of all, the outlooks or images that celebrities show on social media are supremely
superficial and seem not to express who they truly are. A lot of teenagers, who are currently living
through social networks, are constantly following their idol's commercialised glamorous lifestyles. For
example, I could call for one of the famous stars in "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" - Kim. Kim
Kardashian, who influences not only teenagers but also females of different ages, has promoted her
beauty standard and got benefits from that. In particular, Kim has been lying on the Internet to buy the
products to get the beauty standard that she makes up. . Nevertheless, young people still follow it, even
though some netizens have proved that the result turned out for nothing or even could be harmful to
health.
Secondly, nowadays celebrities are not recognized because of their talents but because of their
physical appearance. For example, Kendall Jenner, who is a well-known member of the Kardashian
family, has had her modelling career highly criticised. Her influence on fashion trends is undeniable and
she is often seen in publicity for big brands. However, a large number of people agree that she is not
good enough to be considered a “supermodel", since her salary is based on her good-looking face and
popularity, not modelling skills. Because of/Due to her negative influence, young people, especially
young women, have grown to believe that their worth is measured by how much they fit in the modern
beauty standards and are “trendy” and popular.
In conclusion, there are several negative impacts that come from celebrities nowadays on most
teens when they are misled to believe the only matter is the looks and the flashy appearance rather
than the value of human essences.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 58, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ively affect young people influenced in many different ways. First of all, the outlooks or im...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 56, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... the beauty standard that she makes up. . Nevertheless, young people still follow...
^
Line 16, column 57, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...n in publicity for big brands. However, a large number of people agree that she is not good enou...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 32, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '”' seems to be missing
... is not good enough to be considered a “supermodel', since her salary is ba...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, still, well, for example, in conclusion, in particular, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 7.0 286% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 1.00243902439 299% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 6.8 176% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 3.15609756098 444% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 32.0 5.60731707317 571% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 33.7804878049 118% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.97073170732 126% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1779.0 965.302439024 184% => OK
No of words: 333.0 196.424390244 170% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34234234234 4.92477711251 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27180144563 3.73543355544 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00112104992 2.65546596893 113% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 106.607317073 189% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.603603603604 0.547539520022 110% => OK
syllable_count: 537.3 283.868780488 189% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 1.53170731707 392% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 4.33902439024 69% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.07073170732 374% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 3.36585365854 149% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 8.94146341463 157% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.4926829268 102% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.0547792341 43.030603864 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.071428571 112.824112599 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7857142857 22.9334400587 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0714285714 5.23603664747 192% => OK
Paragraphs: 22.0 3.83414634146 574% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 1.69756097561 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 3.70975609756 216% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.13902439024 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.09268292683 98% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204861269752 0.215688989381 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0659579544925 0.103423049105 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0497975638325 0.0843802449381 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0525084000506 0.15604864568 34% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0475593613925 0.0819641961636 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 13.2329268293 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 61.2550243902 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.3012195122 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 11.4140731707 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.06136585366 111% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 40.7170731707 216% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.4329268293 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.9970731707 102% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.0658536585 108% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.