Task 1: The graph below shows the percentage of people in different age groups in one city who attended music concert between 2010 and 2015.
Bài mẫu IELTS Writing Task 1 và 2 ngày 05-03-2020
The given graph demonstrate the proportion of people in diverse age group go to a music event from 2010 to 2015 in one city.
It can be seen that at different age, the percentage of concert participants from 2010 to 2015 in a city also varies.Overall. a much larger percentage of people from 16-25 age attended music concert in comparison with a 55- 75+ age group, the 16-54 age group tended to the dramatic growth in music concert.
The percentage of people in 16-24 age group joined music concert gone up rapidly and was from 40% to 70%. The figures for people in 25-44 age group attended music concert dropped rapidly at from 52% to 40% between 2010 and 2011. However it rocketed at about 10% in 2012. Then the 25-44 age group constantly increasing slightly to 2015 at from 50% to 53%. Just like the 25-44 age group above, 45-54 groups attended music concert tended to go down from 40% to 32% between 2010 and 2013. In cóntrast,, from 2013 to 2015 saw a dramatic rise in the proportion of people participated concert.
From 2010 to 2011, there are a slight rise in the proportion of people in 55-64 age group enjoyed music concert and stayed unchanged in this proportion at about 29% in 2013. Then, it gradually gone down to 21% in 2015. A rapidly increase was seen in the percentage of people in 75+ group attended concert from 2010 to 2011 at about 12%. Although it also increased from 12% to 22% in stage of 2014 to 2015, it was reduced at about 11% from 2011 to 2013.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-06-11 | Julie Nguyễn | 82 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The given graph demonstrate the proportion of peop...
^^
Line 1, column 95, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in diverse age group go to a music event from 2010 to 2015 in one city. It ca...
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Line 3, column 90, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...age of concert participants from 2010 to 2015 in a city also varies.Overall. a mu...
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Line 3, column 119, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Overall
...rom 2010 to 2015 in a city also varies.Overall. a much larger percentage of people fro...
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Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: A
...to 2015 in a city also varies.Overall. a much larger percentage of people from 1...
^
Line 5, column 187, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...p attended music concert dropped rapidly at from 52% to 40% between 2010 and 2011...
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Line 5, column 231, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... from 52% to 40% between 2010 and 2011. However it rocketed at about 10% in 2012. Then ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 498, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive commas
Suggestion: ,
...o 32% between 2010 and 2013. In cóntrast,, from 2013 to 2015 saw a dramatic rise i...
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Line 7, column 39, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'rises'?
Suggestion: rises
... From 2010 to 2011, there are a slight rise in the proportion of people in 55-64 a...
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Line 7, column 71, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... slight rise in the proportion of people in 55-64 age group enjoyed music concert...
^^
Line 7, column 221, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('rapidly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
... it gradually gone down to 21% in 2015. A rapidly increase was seen in the percentage of people in...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 7.48453608247 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 4.92783505155 20% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 5.05154639175 79% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 3.03092783505 33% => OK
Pronoun: 7.0 32.9175257732 21% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 26.3917525773 280% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 3.85567010309 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1214.0 937.175257732 130% => OK
No of words: 271.0 206.0 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.47970479705 4.54256449028 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.05734859645 3.78020617076 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.431815508 2.54303337028 96% => OK
Unique words: 115.0 127.690721649 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.424354243542 0.622605031667 68% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 329.4 290.88556701 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.2 1.41237113402 85% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.13402061856 33% => OK
Article: 7.0 0.824742268041 849% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 1.44329896907 208% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 12.6804123711 103% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 16.3608247423 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 39.1768860729 44.8134815571 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.3846153846 76.5299724578 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8461538462 16.8248392259 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.07692307692 4.34317383033 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 2.54639175258 432% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 7.41237113402 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 3.94845360825 203% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297661285484 0.216113520407 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140218026143 0.0766984524023 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0795370782433 0.0603063233224 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.233242122984 0.12726935374 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0528277062527 0.0580467560999 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 8.37731958763 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 85.02 70.7449484536 120% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 7.45979381443 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.7 8.71597938144 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.49 7.59969072165 85% => OK
difficult_words: 32.0 41.2886597938 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 8.62886597938 156% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 8.54432989691 117% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 8.15463917526 123% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.