In many countries children are engaged with some kind of paid works. Some people regard this as completely wrong while other consider it valuable work experience important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion.

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In many countries children are engaged with some kind of paid works. Some people regard this as completely wrong while other consider it valuable work experience important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion.

Childhood is supposed to be a worriless period of life when offsprings started to learn about life. Presently; children working with some kind of paid work is not offence and people who consider valuable work is helpful to learning experience and taking responsibility by the children is good. Here; I would like to assert with both sides of given statement.

There are multifarious pros to do paid work by juvenile. First and foremost; the role of earning by the offspring during paid work is terrific to become independent. For example; some destitute children earn money while doing paid work to earn back and belly for their families. Thus; due to paid work; they come to know about the value of money. Hence; juvenile become more responsible and careful about the earning money. Moreover; attaining worthwhile work experience plays a significant role to be skillful and creative to do future jobs more effectively. Therefore; offspring learn more skills and experience through paid jobs.

On the contrary drawback of paid work can not be underestimated. Firstly; offsprings doing paid works is unjustifiable. For example; during the work; children are exploited and facing physical harassment. Thus; they face many problem related to justice during the work. Secondly; juvenile do not concentrate on education; importance of education extremely high without education juvenile can stand no where. Therefore; children ignore the study and become money-minded to fulfill their desires. Thus; paid work does not fully hold water.

From my opinion; paid work by juviniels is not justifiable because it leading the crime and many health problems in offsprings to doing paid work allure to do more work and they do not participate in outdoor activities. Thus; overall development of offspring is decreasing.

To recapitulate; offsprings work can be prohibitied and make a justifiable law for the juveniles to stop child labor and provide goods amenities to overall development of children.

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2014-03-11 Satpal Bishnoi 73 view

Comments

children working with some kind of paid work is not offence and people who consider valuable work is helpful to learning experience and taking responsibility by the children is good.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: Secondly; juvenile do not concentrate on education; importance of education extremely high without education juvenile can stand no where.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb 'to do', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to juvenile and do

Sentence: To recapitulate; offsprings work can be prohibitied and make a justifiable law for the juveniles to stop child labor and provide goods amenities to overall development of children.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to offsprings and work
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to goods and amenities

Sentence: Childhood is supposed to be a worriless period of life when offsprings started to learn about life.
Error: worriless Suggestion: ?

Sentence: Presently; children working with some kind of paid work is not offence and people who consider valuable work is helpful to learning experience and taking responsibility by the children is good.
Error: offence Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: From my opinion; paid work by juviniels is not justifiable because it leading the crime and many health problems in offsprings to doing paid work allure to do more work and they do not participate in outdoor activities.
Error: juviniels Suggestion: juveniles

Sentence: To recapitulate; offsprings work can be prohibitied and make a justifiable law for the juveniles to stop child labor and provide goods amenities to overall development of children.
Error: prohibitied Suggestion: prohibited

flaws:
The semicolons ';' are not used properly. It should be comma ','.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1630 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.175 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.815 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.111 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5