The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in last ten years. Discuss causes and effects of this distrubing trend.
Nowadays, where we go, we will easily meet the last ten years where the increase about 20%. People think the more weight their children the more healthy they are. In fact, overweight can produce more desease.
The countries that have problem with their overweight children, many of them is developing countries. They think time is everything, so they need moving fast. They have time to cook foods or to provide healthy foods, for their children. So they just look some foods, at the fast foods restaurant. In common, fast food recognize as junk food. They are not realize that in fast foods their children eat contain much fat and less protein.
Children with overweight are susceptible to illness. They have more potential to attack by disiase. They also slow to move, so they rare to move thei r body. They become more weight gradually. In the future if they grow up become and adult, they will potentially to attack by healthattack. Other disiase will attack them is stroke. They are not realized fat from their foods that they have eaten many years ago, have accunulated to their body. The impact is the the fat close their artery blood which it can couse hearth-attack and stroke.
In conclusion, overweight is not good for the children beccause that not good for their health. They must carefully for what they eat. So they ca control their foods. For the parents, they must carry out their children to eat fast foods. So, they must spare their time to provide healthy foods fr their children.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2015-01-16 | Fadlanmuzakki | 50 | view |
- CHEVENING SCHOLARSHIP Your career plan and benefit to your home country Describe your immediate plans upon completion of your Chevening award You should explain your longer term 5 10 year career objectives and describe how your time in the UK will help yo 35
- The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. 70
- The graph below shows the writing technology used by undergraduate students to prepare assignments at a university in 1970 1982 and 1994 85
- Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV To what extent do you agree or disagree 61
- The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 70
we will easily meet the last ten years where the increase about 20%
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
the more weight their children the more healthy they are
Description: read books about the more...the more...
The countries that have problem with their overweight children, many of them is developing countries.
Description: what is the subject for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
fast food recognize as junk food.
fast food is recognized as junk food.
They are not realize that
They do not realize that
They also slow to move,
They are also slow to move,
so they rare to move thei r body.
so they rarely move their body.
if they grow up become and adult, they will potentially to attack by healthattack.
if they grow up to become an adult, they will potentially to be attacked by healthattack.
Other disiase will attack them is stroke.
Another disease which will attack them is stroke.
They are not realized fat from their foods that they have eaten many years ago, have accunulated to their body.
Description: what is the subject for 'have' ? can you re-write this sentence?
beccause that not good for their health.
because that is not good for their health.
Sentence: The impact is the the fat close their artery blood which it can couse hearth-attack and stroke.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Sentence: In fact, overweight can produce more desease.
Error: desease Suggestion: ?
Sentence: They have more potential to attack by disiase.
Error: disiase Suggestion: disease
Sentence: They also slow to move, so they rare to move thei r body.
Error: thei Suggestion: them
Sentence: In the future if they grow up become and adult, they will potentially to attack by healthattack.
Error: healthattack Suggestion: health attack
Sentence: Other disiase will attack them is stroke.
Error: disiase Suggestion: disease
Sentence: They are not realized fat from their foods that they have eaten many years ago, have accunulated to their body.
Error: accunulated Suggestion: accumulated
Sentence: The impact is the the fat close their artery blood which it can couse hearth-attack and stroke.
Error: couse Suggestion: course
Sentence: In conclusion, overweight is not good for the children beccause that not good for their health.
Error: beccause Suggestion: because
Sentence: So they ca control their foods.
Error: ca Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
You have issues on the structure of a sentence.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 260 350
No. of Characters: 1201 1500
No. of Different Words: 127 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.016 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.619 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.218 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 64 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 11.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.355 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.364 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.474 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5