In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence.
In the last decades men were going to work while women look after their children. But nowadays not only men but also women work for high income. They consider they can provide their children with high amount of money. But I tend to disagree with them and I think harm of working both partners is more than it benefits. In this essay I will support my points of view before a reasonable conclusion is reached.
Firstly to my mind in these years children need more support than money. The first source of support is parents. But some parents work all of day and cannot pay attention to their children. In this case children face lack of support and this can affect their lifestyle, education.
In addition, children of working parents can be more illiterate than others’. Because when children come to home from school they are not compelled by any person for studying. When parents come to home they are tired to concern about their children’s lesson. Moreover children can get easily involved in such things as drugs, or undertake drinking due to absence of their parents.
On the other hand children of working parents are in advantageous position where their parents are able to afford mere luxuries such as new clothes, video games. Furthermore these children can enjoy life due to their parents’ extra wealth for example by spend holidays in foreign countries.
Taking all mentioned above into consideration I would to reiterate that although parents can get high amount of money by working absence of them can affect their children’s life in terms of shortage of support, addiction of worse habits.
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- In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. 60
I think harm of working both partners is more than it benefits.
I think the harm of working for both partners is more than its benefits.
Firstly to my mind in these years children need more support than money.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
for example by spend holidays in foreign countries.
for example by spending holidays in foreign countries.
flaws:
Need to polish sentences.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1304 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.777 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.331 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.198 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5