university students should pay for their own education instead of the society funding their students. the reason is that individuals that tend to benefit after grduation more than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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university students should pay for their own education instead of the society funding their students. the reason is that individuals that tend to benefit after grduation more than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The dramatic increase in receiving scholarship or fund from government has sparked controversy over the potential impacts of this prevailing trend on the government and society. Some people are concerned that the government expenditure on subsidizing students are not necessary and student are the only responsible to afford the expenses. This preconceived notion should be rejected as one can see many salient factors in favor of this policy.

There is no doubt that, the most significant role of any government is responsibility for their people and society. Young people and also the students are known as a treasure of every society. As a matter of fact, offering scholarship has a great effect on students performance, motivating them to try harder to keep up with their studies. Another important benefit of this trend is that, it would be constructive approach to provide an opportunity to those gifted students who are in a poor economic condition and it may be a good reason for them to continue their education. In addition, subsidizing might lead to implant a sense of loyalty and trust to the government among students. Consequently, had the government tried to cooperate and understand students, they would have gotten more respect and effective response from students.

On the other hand, contrary to what some people believe that spending on individuals educating is not profitable for society, funding actually creates a wide variety of advantages. Helping students to afford the cost of university education leads to recognizing industrious students and make an intensive competition between individuals around the world. Take American government as a tangible example, that has exploited thousands of student every year from all of the world by offering them a reasonable scholarship and consequently, utilized them in order to develop this country in every major, while the students broadening their horizons in this country. Second it goes without saying that how America has the best intellectual and diligent students in the world, woe are the main workforce. All in all the result show that funding by governments is not only a pointless trend but also a very clever policy.

In conclusion, taking into account all the aforementioned facts and examples in miscellaneous realm of subsidizing students by society, cone can be deduce that, offering scholarship for diligent students is definitely more fruitful for both society and individuals than ignoring it.

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2015-08-11 azad 70 view

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the government expenditure on subsidizing students are not necessary
the government expenditure ... is not necessary

and student are the only responsible to afford the expenses.
and student are the only ones responsible to afford the expenses.

the most significant role of any government is responsibility for their people
the most significant role of any government is the responsibility for their people

it would be constructive approach
it would be a constructive approach

Sentence: As a matter of fact, offering scholarship has a great effect on students performance, motivating them to try harder to keep up with their studies.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and performance

Sentence: All in all the result show that funding by governments is not only a pointless trend but also a very clever policy.
Description: The fragment result show that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace show with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 2056 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.245 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.967 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 99 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.133 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.373 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5