You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.Write about the following topic:The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believ

Essay topics:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:
The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health.

To what extent do you agree with these views?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

If you look at the children from developed countries, you will notice that there are large number of children who are overweight and the numbers one increasing rapidly. Some blames parents for this while others believes that this is due to increased number of fast food joints in developed countries. I think that both these reasons are valid.

In developed countries both the parents are working to maintain their lifestyles and due to which they do not have enough time to look after their children and in turn children becomes independent from young age. Furthermore, parents do not have time to cook proper homemade food, therefore children tend to depend on fast food for their lunch/dinner. As children become more and more independent, parents do not have control over their eating habits.

Fast food joints are growing rapidly in numbers in developed countries as people do not time to prepare their own food and also due to the fact that people in developed countries have more disposable income and children are becoming more independent about their lifestyle. The increased numbers of fast food outlets give multiple choices or varieties to children to eat .Moreover, as number of outlets increases, it gives children easy access to fast foods and children are becoming more and more dependant on these type of foods.

In my opinion, increasing number of fast food outlets coupled with parents’ negligence about their children’s health are the prime reasons for increasing number of overweight children in developed countries.

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2014-05-13 doshi.deep83 60 view
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Comments

and in turn children becomes independent from young age
and in turn children become independent from a young age

as people do not time to
as people do not have time to

Sentence: The increased numbers of fast food outlets give multiple choices or varieties to children to eat .Moreover, as number of outlets increases, it gives children easy access to fast foods and children are becoming more and more dependant on these type of foods.
Error: dependant Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Different Words: 119 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Characters: 1266 1500
No. of Different Words: 119 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.044 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.477 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.484 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.488 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.711 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5