Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views

The consumption of an increasing amount of sugar is detrimental to people's health. Some argue governments should be held accountable for deterring their citizens from over-consuming sugary products, while others opine that individuals are responsible themselves. In my opinion, I believe that both governments and people would be in charge of depletion in a specific group of people's sugar use.

On the one hand, a vast majority of people believe that regulating the use of sugary products by a varied group of people would be the moral duty of authorities. That is to say, excessive amounts of sugar consumed by residents may be depleted if governments implement a deterrent scheme, take for example health awareness advertising. This could positively affect the pattern of over sugar intake in the long run as long as advertisements cast on TV or billboard persistently.

on the other hand, no one could take care of a persons' health and body, precisely, better than themselves, according to some. It means that individuals would be more familiar with their own body requirements so that they could be able to alleviate the usage of sugar in their diet. For instance, people who have diabetes background history are more likely to inherit diabetes genes, and therefore, they would be aware of the consequences of consuming many sugary products, so they should reduce sugary products themselves.

Eventually, in my opinion, the government's plans may be effective to a specific group of people such as retirees and children, so other citizens including young adults and the youth would require their own strategies. In other words, casting attractive commercials while the older adults and children are watching a TV-show or a cartoon could attract their attention towards observing their sugar intake. However, those who do not have enough time because of leading a hectic lifestyle would take less advantage of government programs, and they usually busy themselves with their job or study.

In conclusion, The children who are ignorant of the consequences of over-consuming sugar and older retired adults could benefit greatly from governments' health awareness programs whereas others may need their own attention to cutting down on sugary products.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: On
...ast on TV or billboard persistently. on the other hand, no one could take care ...
^^
Line 5, column 48, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...other hand, no one could take care of a persons health and body, precisely, better than...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, so, therefore, whereas, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, in other words, on the other hand, that is to say

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 7.85571142285 216% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 24.0651302605 116% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1906.0 1615.20841683 118% => OK
No of words: 358.0 315.596192385 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32402234637 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94742906582 2.80592935109 105% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 176.041082164 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.533519553073 0.561755894193 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 594.0 506.74238477 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.2975951904 133% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 46.3323471295 49.4020404114 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.615384615 106.682146367 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5384615385 20.7667163134 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.6153846154 7.06120827912 179% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231750804969 0.244688304435 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10127013578 0.084324248473 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0640653559861 0.0667982634062 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152315413281 0.151304729494 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0870360224879 0.056905535591 153% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 13.0946893788 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 50.2224549098 71% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 11.3001002004 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.4159519038 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.58950901804 106% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 78.4519038076 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.1190380762 126% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.