Parents of obese children should not be punished for making their children fat.Do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Parents of obese children should not be punished for making their children fat.

Do you agree or disagree?

Submitted by WIWI UMAR on Sun, 09/22/2019 - 22:52

Nowadays, healthy is becoming controversial in communities where in this era more develop therefore many problem that is caused by it. Obesities is one of serious problem in health then because this problem there is statement say that children who is obese can not to punished because cause them fat.

On the one hand, children tend to do anything that they want as if some damage can be caused by children as well as to be a weight child base on the children did, to present them biggest potential becoming fat. Therefore, they should be punished as the fault that they did. For example, children have habitual to eat fast food even addict to buy it as if they can not control their diet, the parent must tell to them and make them avoid the junk food because the ingredient of it, is danger if children still consume it. As result, for parents who are do not care with the child will not pay attention with the dangers such it. In conclusion, angry children to ignore them from healthy problem is natural and will becoming addition lesson to them.

On the other site, while the food there are several problems give potential to be fat. Those are, more sleeping, stay up on the night and stress. Basically, the statement above related with this matter because of some reasons. Firstly, the problem which is faced by children today is huge, such as problem in study, happen of their ambition, and the others that are present felling stress then effect their body. Secondly, parents will encouraged to punished however angry them because of it, and influence the children again make the more stress. Finally, the stress which is gotten will make them tend to eat more while that add their time to sleep therefore substance include in their body need to out but caused the irregular activities can not to out.

To sum up, the children who got matter make them stress will have the high potential of it. Even though the both statements are rational, I prefer to disagree with the parents statement that children should be free from anger.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: 'many problems'.
Suggestion: many problems
...here in this era more develop therefore many problem that is caused by it. Obesities is one ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 175, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'them the biggest'.
Suggestion: them the biggest
...ld base on the children did, to present them biggest potential becoming fat. Therefore, they...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 545, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...till consume it. As result, for parents who are do not care with the child will not pay...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 553, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'done'.
Suggestion: done
...sume it. As result, for parents who are do not care with the child will not pay at...
^^
Line 3, column 715, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'become'
Suggestion: become
...rom healthy problem is natural and will becoming addition lesson to them. On the other...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 437, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'encourage'
Suggestion: encourage
...fect their body. Secondly, parents will encouraged to punished however angry them because ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 169, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...rational, I prefer to disagree with the parents statement that children should be free ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, well, while, as to, for example, in conclusion, such as, as well as, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 13.1623246493 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 24.0651302605 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1686.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 359.0 315.596192385 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69637883008 5.12529762239 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.28974781195 2.80592935109 82% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479108635097 0.561755894193 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 514.8 506.74238477 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.6127882975 49.4020404114 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.4 106.682146367 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9333333333 20.7667163134 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.1333333333 7.06120827912 158% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.67935871743 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 3.9879759519 326% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344604372326 0.244688304435 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112725398618 0.084324248473 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0773144320963 0.0667982634062 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.213460865799 0.151304729494 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0723981815296 0.056905535591 127% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.0946893788 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 50.2224549098 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.28 12.4159519038 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.58950901804 85% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 78.4519038076 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.