People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer. To what

extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the average life expectancy is growing, thus it is believed that the retirement age

ought to be raised. In my opinion, this is a reasonable suggestion as, in the long run, it

benefits both individuals and society. Firstly, this essay will discuss a substantial

contribution to national prosperity as a result of this policy, and secondly, improved personal

wellness will be analyzed.

The primary reason to remain employed longer is that it increases tax revenue, therefore, this

is the key to success in terms of social well-being. At present, the amount of the

economically active population is rapidly decreasing, frequently resulting in national budget

deficits. Not only do elder taxpayers compensate for shortages caused by demographic

disproportion, but they also ensure well a balanced economy in the long run. For  instance, it

has been revealed that the elderly’s payments make up the largest proportion of GDP while

only a tiny percentage is provided by those taking the first steps in their career. 

Another point to consider implementing a higher retirement age is it strongly beneficial for

maintaining both the physical and psychological health of aging employees. On no account

should favourable consequences of staying professionally active till an old age be ignored. A

prime example is Japan, the country with the highest life expectancy rate, where citizens stay

capable of working longer than in any other region. Therefore, without being employed,

senior citizens are far more likely to degrade their health and mental ability.

In conclusion, I am convinced that raising the retirement age is a must for any country that

aims to ensure financial prosperity and longevity for its citizens. It is high time our society

adapted changes required by a rapidly increasing human's lifespan.

Votes
Average: 4.1 (2 votes)
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Essays by user Bakhtiyar1 :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Ought
...t is believed that the retirement age ought to be raised. In my opinion, this is a ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Benefits
...le suggestion as, in the long run, it benefits both individuals and society. Firstly, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Wellness
...licy, and secondly, improved personal wellness will be analyzed. The primary reason ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Is
...ncreases tax revenue, therefore, this is the key to success in terms of social w...
^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Deficits
...equently resulting in national budget deficits. Not only do elder taxpayers compensate...
^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Disproportion
...e for shortages caused by demographic disproportion, but they also ensure well a balanced e...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... a balanced economy in the long run. For  instance, it has been revealed that th...
^^
Line 23, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... taking the first steps in their career.  Another point to consider implementing a...
^^^^
Line 27, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maintaining
...ent age is it strongly beneficial for maintaining both the physical and psychological hea...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Should
...lth of aging employees. On no account should favourable consequences of staying prof...
^^^^^^
Line 33, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Capable
... expectancy rate, where citizens stay capable of working longer than in any other reg...
^^^^^^^
Line 39, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Aims
...nt age is a must for any country that aims to ensure financial prosperity and long...
^^^^
Line 41, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Adapted
...citizens. It is high time our society adapted changes required by a rapidly increasin...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, while, in conclusion, as a result, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 24.0651302605 96% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1601.0 1615.20841683 99% => OK
No of words: 286.0 315.596192385 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.5979020979 5.12529762239 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11236361783 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16996370036 2.80592935109 113% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 176.041082164 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.660839160839 0.561755894193 118% => OK
syllable_count: 494.1 506.74238477 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.4238655097 49.4020404114 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.416666667 106.682146367 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8333333333 20.7667163134 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3333333333 7.06120827912 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 21.0 4.38176352705 479% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 5.01903807615 259% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0568881946727 0.244688304435 23% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0203822121511 0.084324248473 24% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0313698252574 0.0667982634062 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.014287639762 0.151304729494 9% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0272612888508 0.056905535591 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 13.0946893788 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 50.2224549098 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.5 12.4159519038 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.46 8.58950901804 122% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 78.4519038076 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.