people today more and more concerned with owning material possesions than with developing friendships and family relationships
It has been suggested that these days we tend to prioritize the accumulation of possessions over the development of relationships with those closest to us. Some people think that values such as friendships and family relationships have become unimportant and the only significant thing is the amount of money each person has. From my perspective, I partly agree with this opinion, and in this essay I will explain why.
Undeniably, in this materialistic world, people tend to admire or envy with those financially superior or who claim desirable positions in various social hierarchies. It is believed that we are living in the pop culture and materialistic era these days, as the public judge each individual based on his/her social status and wealth. It can be seen from how celebrities become famous nowadays. Many celebrities are being popular because of their physical appearance and personal wealth such Kim Kardashian. Her reality television program never shows any world class acting quality, but only shows about her luxurious mansions and fancy cars. And then there are other celebrities who are well known due to his/her social status as the son or the daughter of a wealthy family. One of the examples would be Paris Hilton, although she has many bad attitudes, she is still popular because she inherits the assets of her parents.
Similarly, one from a affluent family might feel hesitant to befriend someone who is struggling to make ends meet, seeing as the latter is not on the same level with one in terms of social status. Popularity of luxury goods is increasing, friends competitive about owning the most exclusive brands. If you visit the Rich kids of Vietnam on Instagram, you will be overwhelmed with their hideways with shoes, bags, and dress collection of top brands, supercars, lavish parties. One of their “indispensable specialities” is a picture of long shopping bills with unbelievably huge numbers, even an ordinary person working hard his whole life has not earned it. Actually, they are not fashion salve, however, the more bills showed off, the more competitive and influenced on social network they have.
On the other hand, I also hold the belief that it is unreasonable to stereotype the whole society based on the behavior and way of thinking of some people. Society is diversified, not everyone is materialistic, it depends on personality, upbringing, friendship groups. From times to times, children are taught that a clean fast is better than a dirty breakfast by their teachers and parents. It means in any situation, although faced with a variety of shortages and money, you must keep your own self – esteem, do not do bad actions. Besides, in fact, some cultures still maintain family unit as strongly as ever. Take Vietnam for example, nowadays, Vietnamese have a habit of living in the extended families contained grandparents, parents and their sons/daughters why they consider family is the major part of life. Thus, they are close – knit and help, support, take care each other which create beauty in Vietnamese culture – the piety
To sum up, people can become more selfish because of their desire for material things. We cannot deny the certain benefits of possessions, but we should use them effectively, and make our life better with love and care. Friendships and family friendships maybe abstract, symbolic thinking (unlike money), however, they seem to be sustainable and meaningful values of each ones.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 21, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...s of her parents. Similarly, one from a affluent family might feel hesitant to ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, however, if, may, similarly, so, still, then, thus, well, for example, in fact, such as, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 13.1623246493 190% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 10.4138276553 230% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 24.0651302605 233% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 41.998997996 157% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2917.0 1615.20841683 181% => OK
No of words: 568.0 315.596192385 180% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13556338028 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88187981987 4.20363070211 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86652375549 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 327.0 176.041082164 186% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575704225352 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 902.7 506.74238477 178% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 5.43587174349 276% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 0.809619238477 741% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 16.0721442886 149% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.2488198801 49.4020404114 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.541666667 106.682146367 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 20.7667163134 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 7.06120827912 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.67935871743 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233192181373 0.244688304435 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0522458150098 0.084324248473 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0423462572526 0.0667982634062 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132612370537 0.151304729494 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0626612534397 0.056905535591 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 13.0946893788 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 50.2224549098 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 143.0 78.4519038076 182% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.