Q: Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently, the question of what factors contribute to successful life has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that devotion to work leads employees to lead a better life rather than fortunes and appearance, while others argue otherwise. And I wholeheartedly agree with the former stand. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.
On the one hand, those who claim that money and appearance are directly related to having an improved standard of living do so for several reasons. Proponents of this argument insist that people from wealthy families can gain numerous opportunities to receive better education as well as to operate their own businesses. Moreover, these people are able to invest an astronomical amount of money in the stock market, allowing them to earn vast sums of money. In addition, in modern society, there are a multitude of influencers, with the development of mass media. who benefits from their appearance a great deal. To be specific, a large number of celebrities, including movie stars and fashion models, often gain fame and wealth owing to their appearance.
My opinion, however, is that work commitments play a key role in an individual's success. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that working adults spending huge amounts of not only time but also energy in their work are more likely to become promoted to a higher position at the workplace with greater ease. As an illustration, although Kim Ki-Hun, from South Korea, born and raised in a poor area and suffered from poverty in childhood, he became a vice president in Samsung with the help of dedication to work. Furthermore, working people who are passionate about work often acquire invaluable skills and knowledge related to their occupations, which exerts a positive influence on them building a successful career. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that dedication to work enables people to have a high level of life for the reasons discussed above.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2024-03-17 | Huyenlbg87 | 84 | view |
| 2022-08-09 | idid382021 | 89 | view |
| 2022-08-07 | idid382021 | 89 | view |
| 2022-08-04 | hellielts | 89 | view |
| 2021-09-19 | idid382002 | 89 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 565, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Who
...rs, with the development of mass media. who benefits from their appearance a great ...
^^^
Line 3, column 565, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “who” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rs, with the development of mass media. who benefits from their appearance a great ...
^^^
Line 3, column 630, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ppearance a great deal. To be specific, a large number of celebrities, including movie stars and ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 757, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e and wealth owing to their appearance. My opinion, however, is that work commit...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 69, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
... work commitments play a key role in an individuals success. Perhaps the most compelling re...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that dedicati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, well, while, as to, in addition, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 7.85571142285 25% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 41.998997996 145% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.3376753507 180% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1858.0 1615.20841683 115% => OK
No of words: 364.0 315.596192385 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1043956044 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79934135818 2.80592935109 100% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 176.041082164 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.620879120879 0.561755894193 111% => OK
syllable_count: 594.0 506.74238477 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.76152304609 210% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8744535694 49.4020404114 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.294117647 106.682146367 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4117647059 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.41176470588 7.06120827912 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242949013976 0.244688304435 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0654556931652 0.084324248473 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0424108324508 0.0667982634062 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125171605493 0.151304729494 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0446179284272 0.056905535591 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 13.0946893788 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 50.2224549098 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.4159519038 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.41 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 78.4519038076 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.