Q13 Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently the question of what factors can contribute to success in life has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that dedication to work plays a key role in succeeding in one's life, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with the former stance. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.
On the one hand, those who claim that individuals' success is determined by wealth and appearance do so for several reasons. Proponents of this argument insist that not only can people from wealthy families establish their own businesses with greater ease, but they are also able to invest a vast sum of money in the stock market. To be more specific, these people can easily have a chance to earn astronomical amount of money enabling them to have an improved standard of living. In addition, a numerous celebrities, such as movie stars and fashion models, benefit a great deal from their appearance in modern society given that they are easily capable of obtain fortunes and fame thanks to their appearance with the development of mass media .
My opinion, however, is that work commitments are more directly related to having a high quality of life. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that working people spending huge amounts of time and energy on their occupations are more likely to become promoted to a high position at the workplace. As an illustration, although Kim Ki-Hun from South Korea who was born and raised in a poor area suffered from poverty in his childhood, he became a vice president in Samsung with the help of work commitments. In addition, workers who are passionate about their jobs can develop invaluable skills and acquire knowledge related to their duties, exerting a positive influence on their future careers. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that commitments to work enable ordinary people to live a better life for the reasons discussed above.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... work plays a key role in succeeding in ones life, while others argue otherwise. Per...
^^^^
Line 3, column 39, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
... On the one hand, those who claim that individuals success is determined by wealth and app...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 505, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'celebrity'?
Suggestion: celebrity
...dard of living. In addition, a numerous celebrities, such as movie stars and fashion models...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 743, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...rance with the development of mass media . My opinion, however, is that work co...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there...
^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that commitme...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 24.0651302605 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 41.998997996 145% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1810.0 1615.20841683 112% => OK
No of words: 361.0 315.596192385 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01385041551 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72374569944 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 176.041082164 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.617728531856 0.561755894193 110% => OK
syllable_count: 585.9 506.74238477 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.4956581049 49.4020404114 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.666666667 106.682146367 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0666666667 20.7667163134 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 7.06120827912 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.243731282995 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0733375359171 0.084324248473 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0453413023025 0.0667982634062 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141133133329 0.151304729494 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0433317350633 0.056905535591 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 13.0946893788 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 50.2224549098 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.4159519038 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.59 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 78.4519038076 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.