Q2 Some people believe famous people s support towards international aid organizations draw the attention to problems while others think celebrities make the problems less important Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay topics:

Q2 Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draw the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Recently, the impact of celebrities' assistance on ordinary people has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that well-known people can contribute to an increase in the level of attention to social problems by supporting charities, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with the former stance. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.

On the one hand, those who claim that influencers helping socially disadvantaged people exert a detrimental influence on the public do so for several reasons. Proponents of this argument insist that some entertainers exploit charitable activities in an undesirable way, causing individuals to become less interested in social issues. As an illustration, Kim Ki Hun who is a singer from South Korea patronised a charitable institution, and he achieved fame and wealth. However, according to an article released by the Seoul Times, it turned out that the main reason for his donation was receiving tax waivers. Given these points, some people hold the view that renowned people can worsen the essence of charitable work.

My opinion, however, is that celebrities' support towards global charitable foundations has a beneficial effect on the masses. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that not only can public figures inform individual people of the importance of charitable activities, but they are also able to raise awareness amongst everyday people considering that they are often exposed to mass media. Furthermore, a myriad of fans of influencers have a predisposition to participate in charitable work when their idols partake in it. To exemplify, Lionel Messi spent approximately 3 million US dollars on a charitable organisation in South Africa in order to alleviate global hunger, which led numerous of his keen supporters to pay attention to poverty. As a result, they donated about 5 million US dollars. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that influencers' help brings with it positives in society for the reasons discussed above.

Votes
Average: 8.9 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 248, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an undesirable way" with adverb for "undesirable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ertainers exploit charitable activities in an undesirable way, causing individuals to become less int...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that influenc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, so, well, while, in conclusion, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 10.4138276553 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 41.998997996 131% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1922.0 1615.20841683 119% => OK
No of words: 359.0 315.596192385 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35376044568 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04751671128 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 176.041082164 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.621169916435 0.561755894193 111% => OK
syllable_count: 620.1 506.74238477 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.5773098507 49.4020404114 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.058823529 106.682146367 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1176470588 20.7667163134 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.70588235294 7.06120827912 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224984090523 0.244688304435 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0617334289702 0.084324248473 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698156660051 0.0667982634062 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134748083772 0.151304729494 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0823051139106 0.056905535591 145% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 13.0946893788 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.4159519038 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.74 8.58950901804 113% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 78.4519038076 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.