Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects,especially at the primary level.Do you agree or disagree?

Education sector is evolving in all countries, making it more entertaining and fun for the students. Many people argues that subjects such as music and drama, which are not related to studies should not be included in the syllabus. I completely disagree and believe that these extra-curricular subjects play a vital role in children's overall development.

Firstly, education nowadays is getting tough everyday and subjects such as music, drama and creative writing helps pupil to release their stress from other subjects. Moreover these extra-curricular subjects help to excel student's performance. Students perform better when they are stress-free which makes their overall performance to go up.

Secondly, for some students music or drama can become their way of making a living. As not all of us like to study technical subjects, some children may have different hobbies or dreams. It is better for the children to follow their dreams and become musician or actor/actress. By learning these subjects, pupil can embrace their talent from a young age.

Thirdly, such subjects not only help develop child's mind but it also helps to keep them away from mobile phones and televisions. Children can spend their leisure time singing songs or creating new skits. By doing this they will not only enhance their skills but also build confidence.

To conclude, In my opinion subjects such as music, drama or creative writing in children's education brings a positive effect on child's mind and help them in their overall development.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 46, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...ly, education nowadays is getting tough everyday and subjects such as music, drama and c...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 167, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...lease their stress from other subjects. Moreover these extra-curricular subjects help to...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ormance to go up. Secondly, for some students music or drama can become their way of ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 13.1623246493 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 10.4138276553 144% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 41.998997996 57% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1292.0 1615.20841683 80% => OK
No of words: 244.0 315.596192385 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29508196721 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.95227774224 4.20363070211 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76626897109 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 176.041082164 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.58606557377 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 384.3 506.74238477 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.8518629298 49.4020404114 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.2857142857 106.682146367 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4285714286 20.7667163134 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57142857143 7.06120827912 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.107485226776 0.244688304435 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0395531358678 0.084324248473 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0422697538944 0.0667982634062 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0621312031994 0.151304729494 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0269582544779 0.056905535591 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 13.0946893788 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.16 12.4159519038 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 78.4519038076 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.