The use mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking.Smoking is banned at certain places and so mobile phones should also be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

The use mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking.

Smoking is banned at certain places and so mobile phones should also be banned.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays it is undeniable fact that, mobile phone is used to be in either bad or good way. It is frequently common believe that, utilisation of mobile phones is hazardous as like smoking for the society. As smoking is rejected at counted places, use of mobile phones should close at those places. I partially disagree with this statement, following paragraph intends to analyse my opinion to this approach.

To embark on, mobile phones provides a range of knowledge and services as we intend. Whenever, people feel that, smoking must be required then they can search the side effects of smoking in mobile phones so it can aid at a extent for masses. For example, nutreano+ application contribute the ideas of how to leave smoking and this application is only available in mobile phones. Besides this, mobile phones also help us to making a splendid communication with people, while people speak smoking their sound does not be perfect but if they communicate with the aid of mobile phone sound seems to be ideal.

Moreover, if mobile phones used in a fair way, people can discern an importance of society. A such app in mobile provide a knowledge of behaviour of society, this people can understand how to behave.

Apart from this, although mobile phones utilised as more precious than smoking, there are minor disadvantages of that. There is no difference between use of smoking and mobile phones at public places, majorities of masses use mobile as just like smoking in front of people and it can also damage hope of another people. For instance, people use mobile at bus station for different purposes, talking, cheating or saw on, so it can effect badly on another people behaviour.

In conclusion, mobile phones utilised as equally as smoking at public places, but government should not be close service of mobile phone at certain places apart from bus station, because it is entirely beneficial for people that I have been mentioned above

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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2019-12-31 Shivam patel 73 view
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 238, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ciety. As smoking is rejected at counted places, use of mobile phones should clo...
^^
Line 1, column 254, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g is rejected at counted places, use of mobile phones should close at those plac...
^^
Line 5, column 222, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...oking in mobile phones so it can aid at a extent for masses. For example, nutrean...
^
Line 5, column 430, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is, mobile phones also help us to making a splendid communication with people, wh...
^^
Line 5, column 488, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nication with people, while people speak smoking their sound does not be perfect ...
^^
Line 9, column 33, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a fair way" with adverb for "fair"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...l. Moreover, if mobile phones used in a fair way, people can discern an importance of so...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 159, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...de a knowledge of behaviour of society, this people can understand how to behave. ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 242, Rule ID: AS_ADJ_AS[1]
Message: Comparison is written "as just 'as'".
Suggestion: as
...majorities of masses use mobile as just like smoking in front of people and it can a...
^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t badly on another people behaviour. In conclusion, mobile phones utilised as...
^^^^
Line 17, column 42, Rule ID: EQUALLY_AS[1]
Message: Don't say 'equally as'. You can use either 'equally' or 'as' on its own. When comparing two nouns, use 'just as'.
Suggestion: equally; as; just as
...n conclusion, mobile phones utilised as equally as smoking at public places, but governmen...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 241, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y beneficial for people that I have been mentioned above
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, if, moreover, so, then, while, apart from, for example, for instance, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 41.998997996 117% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1637.0 1615.20841683 101% => OK
No of words: 328.0 315.596192385 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99085365854 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25567506705 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59735878922 2.80592935109 93% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52743902439 0.561755894193 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 532.8 506.74238477 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.553374229 49.4020404114 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.928571429 106.682146367 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4285714286 20.7667163134 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.35714285714 7.06120827912 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.01903807615 219% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.369974052755 0.244688304435 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.152867397761 0.084324248473 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0723244983455 0.0667982634062 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238835561719 0.151304729494 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0532032627116 0.056905535591 93% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 13.0946893788 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 50.2224549098 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.4159519038 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 78.4519038076 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.