It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
Many claim that punishment is, in fact, an indispensable educational tool that ought to be used to develop in the offspring a correct understanding of good and evil. Although this prospect has many supporters, I strongly disagree with it. Below the reasons on which my stance is based will be discussed in details.
Firstly, usage of any kind of punishment will likely have an adverse effect on kids’ health. Needless to say that injuring a child should not be allowed under any circumstances but even hitting a young person may be bringing a wide variety of problems from violent behavior to anxiety and other psychological issues in the future. Moreover, it is often assumed that emotional punishment such as ignoring a kid could be used without consequences; but pundits have decisively proven that young children who felt that they are being ousted by the most valuable blood-relatives will likely develop addiction to alcohol, tobacco or other drugs later in life. In other words, penalizing has a disadvantageous effect on the reproached posterity.
Secondly, there is a myth that punishment is an efficient mean of bringing up. However, a sociological study that was conducted in the USA and the EU has demonstrated that penalizing bears only short living changes and consequently the scientists concluded that punishing is deemed to be rather inefficient. For instance, someone who is reproached for using swear words will unquestionably avoid pronouncing them when he is heart by parents but he will apparently use them vigorously as an act of protest when he is not observed by adults. Therefore, adults should try to find an alternative approach to bringing up their progeny.
To sum up, punishment in its many forms should not be applied on children because the method frequently is harmful for health and well-being of those who are disciplined; moreover, it is not as effective as many tend to think.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
ought to be used to develop in the offspring a correct understanding of good and evil.
ought to be used to develop a correct understanding of good and evil for the offspring.
ought to be used to develop a correct understanding of good and evil among the offspring.
Firstly, usage of any kind of punishment will likely have an adverse effect
Firstly, the usage of any kind of punishment will likely have an adverse effect
when he is heart by parents
when he is hurt by parents
flaws:
1. There are not content for 'What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?'. It needs one paragraph.
2. some sentences are too long, look:
For instance, someone who is reproached for using swear words will unquestionably avoid pronouncing them when he is heart by parents but he will apparently use them vigorously as an act of protest when he is not observed by adults.
for example, 'them' in the sentence is not clear.
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read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-ii-ielts-academic-essays/it-i…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1569 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.981 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.987 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.694 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun claim seems to be countable; consider using: 'Many claims'.
Suggestion: Many claims
Many claim that punishment is, in fact, an indispe...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
apparently, but, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for instance, in fact, kind of, such as, in other words, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 13.1623246493 175% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 7.30460921844 219% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 41.998997996 95% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1616.0 1615.20841683 100% => OK
No of words: 315.0 315.596192385 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13015873016 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05644555169 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 176.041082164 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.612698412698 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 500.4 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 82.9348388797 49.4020404114 168% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.666666667 106.682146367 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.25 20.7667163134 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 15.0 7.06120827912 212% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.67935871743 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.9879759519 201% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135354706956 0.244688304435 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0517729012693 0.084324248473 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0349007005325 0.0667982634062 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0843731739454 0.151304729494 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0223896272416 0.056905535591 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.54 8.58950901804 111% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 78.4519038076 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.