Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children s development rather than computer games To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is said that engaging in outdoor recreation is more beneficial for the development of children than playing computer games. I totally agree with that view and also believe that children should spend more time outdoors rather than indoors gaming.
On the one hand, to a certain extent, playing computer games would negatively impact on children’s physical health. In particular, most of games require players extended hours to sit in front of a computer screen, preventing them from doing exercises. Moreover, children are likely to consume more fast food when they are gaming. As a result, they might be at a higher risk of obesity. Another health problem is eyestrain, resulted from focusing their eyes on computer screen for long periods. That would, in the long run, ultimately lead to dryness of eyes and nearsightedness as well.
On the other hand, outdoor recreation helps children enhance their overall well-being. Firstly, playing outdoors provide opportunities to get exposed to sunlight. Moderate exposure to the sun should be more encouraged because it stimulates bone growth, as well as happier feeling. Another good effect is that children might acquire new skills when engaging in recreation in nature. For example, playing soccer in a team give them good chances to make new friends at first and learn how to collaborate with others to kick the goal then. In other words, their communication and team-work skills might be significantly improved.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that parents should encourage their offspring to take part in physical activities outdoors instead of keeping eyes glued on computer screen playing games.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 131, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the games') or simply say ''most games''.
Suggestion: most of the games; most games
...ldren’s physical health. In particular, most of games require players extended hours to sit i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, moreover, so, then, well, for example, in conclusion, in particular, as a result, as well as, in other words, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 24.0651302605 75% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1398.0 1615.20841683 87% => OK
No of words: 263.0 315.596192385 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31558935361 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02706775958 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75322981249 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 176.041082164 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.589353612167 0.561755894193 105% => OK
syllable_count: 406.8 506.74238477 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.4678302324 49.4020404114 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.2 106.682146367 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5333333333 20.7667163134 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.2 7.06120827912 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187129169623 0.244688304435 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0606314462104 0.084324248473 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0628105592965 0.0667982634062 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121835733027 0.151304729494 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0719625882818 0.056905535591 126% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 13.0946893788 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 50.2224549098 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.28 12.4159519038 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.58950901804 99% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 78.4519038076 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.