Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both view and give your own op

Some individuals think that parents ought to encourage their offspring to participate in organised social activities in their spare time. Others, however, believe that it is better for children to learn to occupy themselves independently. Although children who learn to choose their own activities would make them much happier and get a good marks in their studies, I believe that it is better to motivate minors to get involved in social activities because it would probably help them to become more social and improve their communication skills.

On the one hand, allowing children to do what they want in their free time would probably make them a lot happier and perform well in their studies. This will have a positive impact on their well-being because they are doing what they enjoy. Many children choose to play video games in their free time and this gives them sense of happiness and joy away from reality. Recent study found that, children who have been allowed to play video games as a reward for their good performance in their studies have done well in their studies. However, I believe that this method is not preferable, because children have not developed enough consciousness to understand whether the activity they chose is good or bad for them and they might easily get addicted.

On the other hand, encouraging children to be an active member of social groups would probably improve their social skills. That is to say, they might be able to build good relationships and make friends. Furthermore, participating in social groups could possibly improve their communication skills which are a doorway for future success. For example, scientist discovered that children who got involved with their classmates frequently found it much easier to socialize and connect with others as opposed to others who felt lonely. I believe, encouraging minors to connect with others in organised social groups is a great way to make them more social and connect with others.

In conclusion, although some claim that children should learn to occupy themselves independently the results may not actually be positive and that is why it is would be a wise decision if parents inspire their children to participate in social groups because it can improve their social and communication skills.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 250, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...hermore, participating in social groups could possibly improve their communication skills whic...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, furthermore, however, if, may, so, well, for example, in conclusion, on the other hand, that is to say

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 24.0651302605 216% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 41.998997996 105% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1928.0 1615.20841683 119% => OK
No of words: 376.0 315.596192385 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12765957447 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.20363070211 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68017025297 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 176.041082164 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452127659574 0.561755894193 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 584.1 506.74238477 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 69.7676903175 49.4020404114 141% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.714285714 106.682146367 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.8571428571 20.7667163134 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 7.06120827912 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.67935871743 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.363389314179 0.244688304435 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.14570433356 0.084324248473 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.067846714502 0.0667982634062 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.2427183197 0.151304729494 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0461355648665 0.056905535591 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 13.0946893788 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.58950901804 93% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 78.4519038076 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.