Some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Is this good or bad thing.

Over the last few decades people are not interested to spend money on sporting or cultural events. But these days people are ready to incur part of their income on musical concerts ,sporting and cultural events. In this context I'm going to discuss about the benefits and drawbacks on this before drawing cogent solution.

To begin with,these days people are ready to spend part of their income on sport and cultural events for entertainment, I strongly support that spending money on sporting events have magical effects to reduce global tension and they also make people realize their patriotic emotions in a safer way without giving any physical and financial loss. For instance, a survey conducted on stress and anger management says entertainment occupied a major role in terms of reducing stress.
So, investing money on events is not waste of money.

Another significant factor is, some conventional type of cultural events are vanished over a period of time. And the artists are unable to survive and find difficult to meet their both ends. These days the artists and players are gaining attention. For instance, the government conducted a sports event, the vision of the event is to bring out the rural young talent. The players gained attention with this event and the profits of this event are invested on poor people. So, These kind of events are helpful for the poor and needy people.

Nevertheless, There are few drawbacks with this, Some people are incurring most of their income on these events like betting and some events the people are getting addicted with these. There is a saying "too much is good for nothing" , so too much of anything is not good.

To sum up, In my perception investing money on sport and cultural events is not waste of money they are gaining entertainment. And, entertainment plays a vital role in ones life and act as stress busters to reduce the stress.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 181, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...part of their income on musical concerts ,sporting and cultural events. In this co...
^^
Line 1, column 229, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...ng and cultural events. In this context Im going to discuss about the benefits and...
^^
Line 3, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , these
...rawing cogent solution. To begin with,these days people are ready to spend part of ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 101, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...heir income on sport and cultural events for entertainment, I strongly support th...
^^
Line 6, column 94, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... of cultural events are vanished over a period of time. And the artists are unable to survive ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 291, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sports'' or 'sport's'?
Suggestion: sports'; sport's
...or instance, the government conducted a sports event, the vision of the event is to br...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 477, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'These kinds'?
Suggestion: This kind; These kinds
... event are invested on poor people. So, These kind of events are helpful for the poor and ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 244, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...'too much is good for nothing' , so too much of anything is not good. ...
^^
Line 10, column 73, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sting money on sport and cultural events is not waste of money they are gaining e...
^^
Line 10, column 170, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...nd, entertainment plays a vital role in ones life and act as stress busters to reduc...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, nevertheless, so, for instance, kind of, to begin with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 13.1623246493 144% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 7.85571142285 0% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 10.4138276553 154% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 7.30460921844 14% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 24.0651302605 87% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 41.998997996 119% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1598.0 1615.20841683 99% => OK
No of words: 322.0 315.596192385 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96273291925 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5541851956 2.80592935109 91% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 176.041082164 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521739130435 0.561755894193 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 494.1 506.74238477 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.3301107624 49.4020404114 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.875 106.682146367 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.125 20.7667163134 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 7.06120827912 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.38176352705 137% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 10.0 5.01903807615 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274066103875 0.244688304435 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0908673141099 0.084324248473 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0871028891883 0.0667982634062 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156126292937 0.151304729494 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0895242946253 0.056905535591 157% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 13.0946893788 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 50.2224549098 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.4159519038 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 78.4519038076 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 9.78957915832 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.