Do you agree or disagree? Children should play outdoor
It goes without saying that playing outside has numerous benefits for kids in this world of today. While some people feel awful about young children playing out of their comfort zones, I personally believe that children should be allowed to play outside. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in my body paragraphs.
To begin with, playing outside helps children to maintain good health. To explain broadly, children need to develop strong immunity and the only way this can be achieved is by getting enough vitamin D so that they can be free of illness. My personal experience is a good illustration of this. When I was staying with my aunty in the city, I discovered that her only daughter comes down with nasal congestion every month. She has tried many approaches to stop this nose dripping, but all efforts proved abortive. Infact, she took her to a pediatrician for a proper health check, yet the congestion persisted. One beautiful day, I was surfing the internet and I came across how getting a tremendous amount of vitamin D from the sun could help in preventing nose blockage. Immediately I got this information, I called my aunty, and we started allowing her to play outside with other children. As soon as she started moving out of our flat, she never experienced nose dripping anymore. Again, not only has she developed strong bones but also developed strong immunity. If we hadn't allowed her to play with other kids, the congestion wouldn't have gone.
Furthermore, when children play outside they tend to develop high self-esteem. To be more specific, they are less likely to be humiliated by anyone, because they can always express themselves clearly on any issues they might encounter. From my previous examples, my aunt's daughter now feels free to ask questions in class anytime she is not clear. Also, her confidence has gotten so high that she reports her classmates that cheated while they were taking examinations in class. If she hadn't been moving out of her comfort zones, obviously her self-esteem wouldn't have been this high.
In light of the reasons mentioned, I believe that engaging in outdoor activities remains advantageous for kids. This is because it builds up a strong immune system and because it boosts self-confidence.
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2024-08-25 | pezhmanlamei | 73 | view |
2023-12-13 | jimHsu | 76 | view |
2023-12-07 | butterflyluo | 80 | view |
2023-12-07 | butterflyluo | 66 | view |
2023-12-07 | butterflyluo | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ct, she took her to a pediatrician for a proper health check, yet the congestion ...
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...t also developed strong immunity. If we hadnt allowed her to play with other kids, th...
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...to play with other kids, the congestion wouldnt have gone. Furthermore, when childr...
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...re taking examinations in class. If she hadnt been moving out of her comfort zones, o...
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...omfort zones, obviously her self-esteem wouldnt have been this high. In light of the...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, so, while, i feel, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1907.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97911227154 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6806700903 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.577023498695 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 567.9 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.0482033249 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.8095238095 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2380952381 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.85714285714 5.45110844103 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.111775553201 0.236089414692 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0369423185641 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0586597732526 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.076009347358 0.150856017488 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0531048681391 0.0645574589148 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.