Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Older teenagers (16-19) should be allowed to work at paid part-time jobs.
Throughout history, a job has played a prominent role in all societies. Because it is of paramount importance, researchers say young people had better doing a parttime job. Whether or not older teenager ought to have permission to choose a part-time career, is controversial. I contend that parents must allow young children for doing a part-time job. In the following paragraph, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.
The first important factor to be mentioned is that doing part-time jobs make teenager become an independent person in a financial aspect. To elaborate on my points, teenagers want to select part time-jobs that they would work in the evening. They start their work from 5 pm until 9 pm. After this time, they have time to study their lessons; hence, doing a part-time job does not make bordering for their lessons. Also, they earn an amount of money as their salary so that they would become an independent person in a financial aspect. Besides, they learn how to manage their money for both saving and spending. They improve their management skills, which would help them in the future position. In addition, since people can earn money, they would increase their self-confidence; because they do not need to ask their parents for giving money. In other words, they have feelings that they become young people who have the ability to live alone. In other words, they have feelings that they become young people who have the ability to live alone.
Another reason which deserves some words here is that teenagers learn a new profession which helps them in future life. To shed more light on this matter, children would learn a new career besides their field of study in the school or university. This ability will make a new option for children future. They will continue this job, and become a prosperous person in this career. Indeed, they will have two majors that they would work. Consider a child who learns computer coding, for instance. She learns how to write a special code such as Matlab, Hysis or other computer language. She also studies her lessons at the university. Simultaneity, she will study and earn money from their code writing. In the future, she will able to work as a code writer for part-time jobs and earn extra money.
All in all, considering the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that parents had better allow young children to do a part-time job. I believe that young children not only become independent people but also earn much money. In this situation, children will have the ability to do their jobs.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 174, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'Whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: Whether
...people had better doing a parttime job. Whether or not older teenager ought to have permission...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 947, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ple who have the ability to live alone. In other words, they have feelings that th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, if, so, for instance, in addition, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2169.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 439.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94077448747 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53408231022 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.473804100228 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 649.8 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.8771809849 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 77.4642857143 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6785714286 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.28571428571 5.45110844103 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135117441248 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0455326347831 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567897555915 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102894472586 0.150856017488 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0420860518486 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.