Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is no shortage of debates whether spending time on the internet is beneficial to children. In my opinion, I completely agree with the idea that computer games adverse children, so parents must ban them to play them. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay,
To begin with, children would not communicate with their peers and behave as a self-reserved person. This is because that they obsess themselves with game, which wastes children’s most time on computer. My brother Ali’s experience is compelling example of it. About two years ago, he spent his all time to Point blank, a game consisted of many competitions and challenges. His teacher reported my parents that his grades on school was low than average, and Ali’s friends treated him badly. My parents refrained him from using computer and registered Ali to judo sport, in which he got many friends and be a sociable person. Moreover, Ali improved his communication skills with his schoolmates, so the problems were reduced between them. As a result, If my parents had ignored their son’s problem, Ali would have stressed and could not think about any things other than computer game.

Secondly, computers release the ultraviolet rays to the people, which reduces vision skill of them. This is obvious that most people suffer from this problem in the modern world. It is said computer radiation affects children more than adults because of their weak immune system. For example, I had a vision problem two years ago because I used up my most time on the internet. My friend recommended me to check on the hospital. The doctor said me that I should reduce my time on computer and walk on the clear air. I was keen on doctor’s all advices, so my vision ability returned to its previous condition. As a result, If I did not go to the doctor to check, my eyes would lost its vision ability day by day.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that parents must prohibit their children to play computer games. This is because that these games influence children badly and do them more stressful person. Also, this games are harmful to children’s health.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 441, Rule ID: SAY_TELL[2]
Message: 'Say' cannot be followed by a direct personal object. Did you mean 'told'?
Suggestion: told
...me to check on the hospital. The doctor said me that I should reduce my time on comp...
^^^^
Line 4, column 682, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'lose'
Suggestion: lose
...o to the doctor to check, my eyes would lost its vision ability day by day. In co...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, for example, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1817.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91081081081 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70011362475 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554054054054 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 551.7 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.8989985347 48.9658058833 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.5238095238 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.619047619 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203053707135 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0655043047918 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0617150380987 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150536249491 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0613797292201 0.0645574589148 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.9 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.