It goes without saying that in this sophisticated and progressive era in which we live in, all human beings are always striving to have more privacy to do their daily works without anybody found what he was performing. Whereas some individuals debate that well-known persons such as athletes and actors do not merit to have more privacy, on the other side of the continuum, stand others, believing that this phenomenon is not completely true and correct. As far as I am concerned, I categorically concur with the second mental attitude and believe that renowned individuals deserve more privacy in their lifespan. In the ensuing essay, my perspective will be substantiated by underlying reasons.
To begin with, as a matter of fact, all renowned and famous celebrities or athletes have this right to do their affairs and routine tasks in private like other ordinary people in society. If social media and people do not allow them to have their private issues in their lifespan, this really will adversely affect their family life and perhaps, they will remain at home all times. An example can shed some light on the subject. Several days ago, I watched a video about one of the well-known actors of Iran's cinema under the name of Shab Hosni. In this video, which had been recorded by a typical person, Shab was smoking in the public. However, he did not understand that someone is filming him. This video distributed in social media and caused he got depressed, disappointed and secluded four several weeks.
Moreover, having more privacy plays a prominent role on famous people' health because they are always exposed to social media and ordinary people and if they do anything wrong, the news related to that event will be reported very soon. This may directly affect their health because it is able to make lots of stress in life. For instance, in the aforementioned example, Shab finally forced to explain and speak about his crime in a public conference in front of many spectators which were his fans. During his speech at the conference, he seemed so worried and bothered which means that he was suffering lots of stress and pressure.
To wrap it up, taking into account the aforementioned reasons and examples, I am of opinion that popular and celebrated persons completely have this right to live conveniently in society like other peoples. This is because it directly influences their health and also they need to do their daily affairs and works without anyone to be informed.
- TOEFL T P O 47 - Integrated Writing Task 3
- TPO 35 Integrated Writing Task 43
- TPO-50 - Integrated Writing Task: Scientists are considering the possibility of sending humans to Mars in the coming decades. Although there have been successful manned missions to the Moon in the 1960s and 1970s, Mars is 150 times further away from Earth 3
- Imagine that you are planning to take a vacation, trying to decide between two places to visit. Which of these two options do you believe would give you better information about making your choice? Why?-- Reading about the places online--Discussing the pl 73
- TPO-50 - Integrated Writing Task: Scientists are considering the possibility of sending humans to Mars in the coming decades. Although there have been successful manned missions to the Moon in the 1960s and 1970s, Mars is 150 times further away from Earth 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 54, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
..., as a matter of fact, all renowned and famous celebrities or athletes have this right to do their...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, may, moreover, really, second, so, well, whereas, for instance, such as, as a matter of fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2076.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 421.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93111638955 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60504130563 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.546318289786 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 657.9 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.2216527315 48.9658058833 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.117647059 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7647058824 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.23529411765 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163425595287 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0483691224438 0.076458572812 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0533547977318 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104228223115 0.150856017488 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0301813833497 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 11.7677419355 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.