Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
To success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard.
In today world, people are trying to be successful in their career to earn enough money to have good life in their future. They have different ideas toward job success. As far as I am concerned, there are two main ideas toward this question. Some people believe, having good relationship ability is the most important factor. While, others believe otherwise. I subscribe to the latter one, and there are several reasons to name. Three of which--that is-- knowledge is the base of each career, relation does not play an important role in every situations, and studying hard provides good resume for applicant, are the most conspicuous ones.
The first important reason that I want to discuss is that knowledge is the base of an occupation. People study in which they become knowledgable in their own field and provide an opportunity for being successful in their future job. By this, I mean, in each occupation, knowledge is of most importance. People want to work in their interest field, not to find relation to solve their problem. For example, in an interview which measure employees for higher rank, the judge will ask a lot of technical questions which measure someone's ability to be appropriate for higher level or not. If he or she does not answer their question, they will not select him or her for enhancement.
The second reason that comes to mind is that there are a lot of situations that relationship is not available. Imagine a situation that someone accepted as a company's nominated person for going to a foreign country to solve a problem about their production. In this situation, there is no help of relation can be effective. He or she should handle yourself in this kind of situation, and if someone asks a question, the nominated person should be able to answer it and solve the owner's problem.
Third, someone who did not study hard in school, he or she has not good backgrounds. There are a lot of companies which evaluate person's quality based on their resume. If someone would not try hard, he or she does not have good cv to win a higher level job offer. As a result, they will face a lot of problem by enhance their level to a better one.
All in all, to sum up what I outlined above, it is true that is some situation relationship can have good effects. But, it is not of prime importance. By considering someone's occupation, being knowledgle is the most important factor which can help his or her in different conditions.
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an interview which measure employees
an interview which measures employees
that someone accepted as
that someone is accepted as
there is no help of relation can be effective
there is no help of relation which can be effective
someone who did not study hard in school, he or she has not good backgrounds.
someone who did not study hard in school doesn't have good backgrounds.
they will face a lot of problem by enhance their level to a better one.
they will face a lot of problems by enhancing their level to a better one.
it is true that is some situation
it is true that in some situations
Sentence: People study in which they become knowledgable in their own field and provide an opportunity for being successful in their future job.
Error: knowledgable Suggestion: knowledgeable
Sentence: By considering someone's occupation, being knowledgle is the most important factor which can help his or her in different conditions.
Error: knowledgle Suggestion: knowledgable
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Don't need to list reasons in the introduction paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 1968 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.566 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.564 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.958 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.569 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.272 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5