Do you agree or disagree? Young people are less dependent on their parents in comparison with the past.
When it comes to the children's independency, controversy surrounds the issue of whether today's offspring depend on their parents far less than in the past or not. Although some people are of the opinion that since we are in the generation of highly educated parents, children have become more dependent on their parents who have desired of having successful children provided with guidance, I believe that today, children try to live on their own with no parents' assistance for two reasons.
One of the most interesting facets of the current discussion which deserves keen contemplation is that living condition has completely changed. Most of parents who have full-time jobs try to earn as substantial as they can too be able to meet their children's needs. In this case, there will be no time to be allocated for their children's issues to be solved. In this case, when children suffer from emotional issue, they share their sadness with their friends rather than their parents. Moreover, since mothers have spent a great amount of their times at work, children do cooking, house chores, and cleaning. As a result, children get used to taking their own responsibilities which result in bringing up such accountable offspring.
Another noteworthy facet of ongoing discussion which demands to be reflected is that technology enables children not to get help from their parents. When there is something wrong with understanding the concept of material, children try to surf the Internet to get correct answers to their problems instead of hearing unsatisfactory responses from their parents. Besides, when they want to choose their own jobs, they gather information through the Internet to find out which career would have good job market in the future to be chosen. They might even ask online academic advisor to understand about which courses should take which help them get the most useful jobs these days due to lack of their parents' expertise at the children's specialized field. As you see, children are living on their own with getting no help form their parents
The further more subtle point is that todays' children become financially independent. In the past, children have difficulty in paying for tuition fees, which made them too reliable on their parents; however, today's intelligent children study hard to win scholarship or even get no-interest loans from university. Then by acquiring part-time jobs, they will be able to repay the loans.
To sum up, the fact that children have less dependency on their parents is the result of not only being too busy parents but also financially self-sufficient and benefitting from advanced technology. I hope that parents try to raise strong children who can tolerate ups and downs by counting on their own.
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Sentence: When it comes to the children's independency, controversy surrounds the issue of whether today's offspring depend on their parents far less than in the past or not.
Error: independency Suggestion: independence
flaws:
The essay topic is for 'young people' not for 'children'. Make sure read the topic carefully in the TOEFL exam.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2270 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.022 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.938 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5