A gift (such as camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why?

Children love gifts, in fact, gifts capture their heart easily. The gifts children receive are of great importance since they might help children to use them in favor of their curiosity and foster their creativity. Thus, it is crucial to be careful about buying toys and gifts for children. Some devices like tablets may make them addicted while some useful toys help them develop. If I were to buy something for a kid to develop, I would choose an amateur telescope. The reasons are stated as follows.

To begin with, I believe that kids greatly enjoy using a telescope. Every child has once asked his/her parents about those tiny twinkling stars in the sky, and they may get really surprised when realize they are not only tiny at all, but also are very huge and distant. I think by stargazing through a telescope with their parent, and watching planets and moon, they become eager to find more about celesticals. As a consequent, they will search for information and read related science books and magazines. Using a telescope is not easy in big cities due to excess of light and air pollution , so the whole family have this opportunity to go out of the city for a night and have fun together, while children enjoy a beneficial activity.

Secondly, when a child is presented with such a gift, he or she is so enthusiatic to learn about it. They can go to astronomy fairs and classes that are intended for their age and it will be a valueable foundation for them to follow related sciences in near future. For instance, physics and mathematics are related subjects to astronomy. Pursueing these topics improves their motivation to become great scientists or engineers. Also, conducting experiments by a device such as a telescope, evoke a sense of curiosity in other fields. In other words, children learn to ask questions and challenge those questions.

To sum up, I think that there is no denying the fact that children learn a great deal about the toys or gifts they are given and they play an important role in their devlopment. I think a telescope is a very good gift for a child because he or she will enjoy it and have a great time using it. Also, it encourages the sense of curiosity and asking questions, which in turn makes them an enthusiatic scientist or engineer.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 594, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...due to excess of light and air pollution , so the whole family have this opportuni...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, thus, while, for instance, i think, in fact, such as, in other words, to begin with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1890.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.725 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58689448172 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5475 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 595.8 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.9400398447 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.5 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.2 5.45110844103 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.129603426502 0.236089414692 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0406747865403 0.076458572812 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0444351152215 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0884032266849 0.150856017488 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0434414618452 0.0645574589148 67% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.