If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
The New Yam festival is a very important festival in my hometown. It is celebrated in the month of August every year, and people travel from their various locations each year to come and witness the event. Despite its' popularity and respect, the New Yam festival is one thing I would like to change about my place of origin. My opinion would be to abolish it.
One reason why I want the celebration abolished is because of the number of people that die each year in road accident while traveling to my village to witness the festival. Last year alone, about two hundred persons died in road accident. Tradition makes it mandatory, that every first male and female of every family, above thirteen years of age are required to be present during the festival along with their parents. As a result of this mandate, people troop to the village during the festival period. Every year witnesses its casualties, but last years' own was the height of it. These people wouldn't have died if they did not travel to witness the festival last year. What a loss!
Also, youths have turned this festival that is supposed to be a symbol of peace and cleansing of the land into an act of immorality. They take permissions from their parents that they are attending a traditional dance during nightfall only to lock up with their partners in sex. It is worth mentioning that the boys and girls involved in this act are withing the age bracket of thirteen and fifteen years old. Some of them contract diseases while some of the girls get pregnant. If there was no such festival, they won't be granted the permission to attend a traditional dance at such odd hours.
Finally, the festival has become so fetish that every aspect of it is attributed to one god or goddess. People of other religions are forced to participate in the rituals that are against their faith. All plea to the elders in council to liberalize the rituals have all been in vain. How can you force one against his belief? Without the New Yam festival, people won't be forced against their faith.
In conclusion, while the new yam festival is well respected and adds color and glamour to my hometown, it is gradually turning the town and its' inhabitants into doom. An event that was once a symbol of peace has now been turned into a catastrophe. My people deserve not to die any more in road accidents. Our teenagers need to realize their morals once again. If I would change one important thing about my hometown, I would abolish the New Yam festival.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2016 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.5 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.341 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.231 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.292 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.478 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5